To Be A Career (A Very Clove Story)

Chapter 27- To Be Lonely

I head back to the girls' room with what remains of my dignity. I suppose I've made enough of a fool out of myself already. I wonder what Cato's doing in the arena.

Maybe he's happy that Thresh is dead, that I've been avenged in a way. Maybe he just feels worse. Maybe he wants to kill more. Maybe he isn't thinking of me.

I wonder if he thinks of me like I think off him. We've been through a lot together, and he's been there more than I realize. Sure, he wasn't there when my dad died, but I saw him the night of the fire and the night Gram killed my mother. I saw him on all those lonely days in the Training Center, and on the school yard. He was there at the Reaping, the train ride and chariots. Through the Bloodbath and Glimmer and Fish face. Through the tracker jackers and the food and Marvel's depression. Through those hunting nights, searching the woods for food and Katniss. He was there when I died. He's always been there, whether I realized it or not. It doesn't matter if I was Reaped or if it was some other girl, some other boy. I would have ended up with him anyways.

So surely, if I love him this much, he must be at least thinking of me. After all, he just killed my killer. Unless he was lying to me, but lying isn't his style or forte. I know him. And he wouldn't say "I love you" if he didn't mean it.

There's a cautious knock on the door, and I hear someone say my name.

"Come in," I say.

"Hi," Rue says, sitting on one of the beds.

"Hi."

"You're thinking about Cato again, aren't you?" she asks.

I nod. "I just wonder if he thinks of me as much as I think of him. I think that he must, because it just wouldn't be fair if he didn't. And he wouldn't say he loved me if he didn't mean it."

"Sometimes love isn't fair. Plus, I saw the way he looked at you on screen. He loved you, and still does," Rue reassures me.

"You're just saying that. He's going to win and move on, because that's what he deserves. Plus, it would be good for our district if he won," I tell her.

"If you say so," she says with a sigh as she leaves me to welcome Thresh.

And I'm alone again, as I like it. No Rue to tell me I'm in denial, to know what I'm thinking about. No Thresh, still bloody from his fight with Cato. No Glimmer and her fakeness, and no Fish Face talking right in her ear. Not even Grace Anne, who I wouldn't mind seeing right now. She might offer me a latte, maybe she'd listen. But she doesn't strike me as the boy advice type, so maybe I'm better off alone.

But I wasn't better off alone in the arena. I did so good with Cato by my side. I'm sure the other competitors were afraid of us. I know for sure that Peeta was afraid of Cato and I, and is still afraid of Cato. Probably the same thing with Katniss. Thresh probably hated both of us, and the ginger doesn't strike me as the type to be afraid of anything. So most of them were. Or are.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Three days since Thresh arrived, and they've all been so long. And very awkward, because every time Thresh gets within thirty yards of me, I make sure I'm armed with something pointy and a sarcastic comment. We're at a standstill, because if either one of us starts anything, it's going to stir Glimmer up. I guess someone told him about her ways. So it's just strange.

"Hey, Clove!!" Glimmer shouts from the kitchen.

"Hi," I call from the TV room. I'm watching the Games, like almost everyone else. Katniss and Peeta are fighting over something, and they don't see as the ginger sneaks behind them, stealing some of their blueberries and an apple. She probably stole from us too, now that I think about it.

I watch as she pops them in her mouth, and falls over dead. I gasp in shock. So do Peeta and Katniss once they figure it out.

Apparently, the berries were nightlock. Poison. I watch as the ginger walks in the room, and looks a little bit confused.

"Oh, hey...ginger. You're dead," I say.

"Hey, Clove. So are you."

"I know that. You didn't. By the way, those berries where nightlock." I smirk.

"Yeah."

"Hi! I'm Glimmer!" Glimmer shouts, running over to her and giving her a hug that she barely fends off.

She goes around, introducing us all. Thresh even comes from who knows where to say hello. I, of course, leave to the kitchen to get a latte. To drink and imagine that I'm pouring on his head. Good times...

I remember that the ginger's name is Finch, and that she's already sick of Glimmer. Glimmer gives her an over-enthusiastic tour anyways.

As she walks away, I realize it's just down to Cato and Peeta and Katniss. Well, with Peeta's leg and lack of skills, it's really Cato versus Katniss. And Katniss is really good. Maybe good enough to take out Cato with an arrow, if he wasn't wearing the body armor I died for. I hope he remembers it.

I can't tear myself away from the TV. I only know that it's morning because it's morning in the arena. I watch as Cato meets Katniss and Peeta near the lake, near the spot where Cato kissed me for the first time.

Then I see the mutts.