The Road That Lies Before

8

You remember the reason I gave when I told you this,
That I will not come online till I am allowed to?
Do you know, why I did this?
To avoid a war that follows me wherever I try to run to.

Not that it made a difference,
That what had to happen did happen that week
I am a girl, born never to raise her voice
Yet have my shrieks pierced beyond the walls that were weak

I fight, yea I do. Quite sometimes
Often to hold onto what is dear to my heart that won’t bow
But every time it comes out as horrific war chimes
And it finally turns into a shower of woe!

It’s been years, but I haven’t fully learned all these days
How to be a lady, or more aptly said, a daughter!
I say I love him but I can’t go with every word he says
I don’t know if that’s a crime, but I know my joy lies in their laughter!

Oh lord, thou art holy and just
I don’t know how I can atone for my sins
But if you'll forgive me before I rust
Do grant me also the grace to shut my mouth for the sake of my kins.

I’ll end that matter there,
I just wanted you to know me,
If you should ever need any reason to leave me without care,
I have given you all you need to stand justified to have left me.

I don’t know even how to better explain all these in words
So this is in fact, just a resignation to satisfy myself!
It is often strange how everything I do as though they are chords,
Comes down to an act born from a selfish self!

Maybe I am finally feeling frustrated with all these walls over walls,
That I would do anything within my reach to watch it when it falls!