I did it

I Did It- Chapter 8

My mom wakes me up. I slowly open my eyes and see her smiling. She's smiling, but in her eyes, she looks like she's been crying.

"Hey sweetie, want to go to the mall or something today? I'm taking the day off today so we can do whatever you want."

"Yeah mom, just, let me shower and stuff first, okay?" I reply as I nuzzle my pillows.

"Take all the time you need." She got up and left.

I sit up and look around my room. I bet my mom thinks I'm such a freak, with all these band posters and creepypasta plushies everywhere. Just, wow.

I get out of bed and walk to my bathroom. I sigh. Only a few days ago, I tried to kill myself. I can't believe I'm still here. Why am I still here? If I've failed at suicide so many times, am I meant to do something amazing in the future?

I get into the shower and do my normal routine. When I get out, my mom is in there. I jumped.

"Mom, you scared me. What are you doing in here? I didn't even hear you come in."

"I want to look at your arms and neck. To see where he hurt you."

I looked down. My scars are still deep and I still have some cuts healing up from a couple days ago. I shook my head.

"Honey, please." My mom holds my shoulders. "I'm concerned about where he hurt you. I want to help put make-up on the bite marks on your neck so when we go out, people won't think of you as a whore.. because you're not."

I looked up at her. I'm so terrified. She's going to put me into the hospital. I just know it. I don't belong there. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere. I close my eyes, fuck it.

I tuck my towel down into my armpits and show her my arms. I close my eyes, but I know she's looking at my scars. I just know she's looking past the bruises and going straight for the scars and cuts that I have. I'm shaking.

" Wear a jacket or something with long sleeves okay? I'll be downstairs getting ready."

She leaves and I sit on the ground and put my back to the door. Ugh. Why me. Why does this have to happen to me?

I get dressed, do my make-up, do my hair, and head downstairs. Mom is there on the couch with make-up. She looks up from the tv.

"Do you want me to put make-up on your neck or do you just want to wear your jacket hood over you?"

"Just put make-up on it."

***

We go into the car and start driving downtown.

"Where are we going?" Mom asks.

"Let's go to the mall." I said. I've been saving up money for Hot Topic since the last time  I went, which was a long time ago.

After 15 minutes, we pull into the parking lot of the strip mall. I run inside, leaving my mom behind. She looks at her phone, then back at me.

"I have to take this call really quick. You go on ahead, I'll catch up later. If you can't find me anywhere, meet me by Subway. Go have fun."

I walk directly towards Hot Topic. The worker guy is really cute. Too bad I'm not pretty. I start looking at tapers and plugs so I can start stretching my ears. The cute guy working there comes up to me.

"What's up? Need any help?" He asks very nicely. God, his voice is perfect too.

"Yeah, what would you recommend for a beginner stretching kit?"

He points to a couple and mentions I should get plugs too. I grab a couple then go on to look at shirts.  He follows me to the shirts.

"Who's your favorite band?"

"I have a lot. But as of right now, Slipknot and Fit For Rivals are at a tie for my favorite."

He hands me a bunch of Slipknot and FFR band shirts and tells me to go to the dressing room. I look at him.

"Uhm, thanks but I don't know if, uh, I'll have enough money to buy all these."

He chuckles and winks. "But I do. So go try them on."

I blush hard and walk towards the dressing rooms. Either he's hitting on me or just trying to make me feel comfortable. Ugh.

***

I come out a few moments later. He rushes up to me.

"How were the shirts?"

"I like all of them but I only have $50."

"Don't worry about it. I'll pay for the rest." He grabs the shirts and starts scanning them so I can pay for them. I sigh.

"Here's the money. You don't have to buy all them for me." I blush harder.

"Oh stop, yes I do. You're really cute, so I figured I'll help pay for stuff, because that's what a gentleman does for a cute girl they like."

I hide my face and I hear him chuckle.

"You're so cute when you blush. Here's all your shirts, and a little something extra. Have a nice day."

I look up and he's gone. My shirts are all in a bag, but there's a sticky note on the top. I grab it and open it. It's his number and right next to it, it says "Call me when you're home, cutie".

***

My mom and I had a great day. We had lunch, told jokes, and we ended up buying a bunch of stuff with each other and for each other. It was the best time I had with my mom in years. We pull into the driveway.

"I hope you had fun today. I'm whooped. I'm going to shower then go to bed."

"Sounds like a plan mom."

We go into the house and my mom hugs me.  "I'm so sorry sweetie. For everything yesterday."

I didn't say anything. I didn't really hug her back. I just sat there. She smiled at me, then went to her room.

I ran upstairs with my bags and flung myself onto the bed. I took my phone out and texted the cute Hot Topic guy. I was so nervous, but excited. I sit and wait.  A few moments later, I get a text back. It's from him.

"Hey cutie."