Selfies with Luke Brooks

Under there stare

After we had finished I checked my watch. It was 6am. We had been painting and talking all night.

"Shit, Luke. We have school in like two hours."

"Oh man, I gotta go then. See you later though, yeah? He asked hopefully.

"Yeah." I smiled.

He grabbed his keys, turned and left. He had left his jacket.

"Luke!" I called, chasing after him.

"I knew you'd be the one to hand me my clothes after a long night". He winked and I blushed heavily,rolling my eyes as a natural reaction to his witty sexual jokes.

"See you later, then." He said.

I waited until he had left and smiled to myself.

I stood for a while caught up in my daydream until I remembered about school. I scurried inside shutting the door behind me and looking through a box of stuff my aunt had given me upon my arrival. At the bottom was my pencils uniform;black skirt,white shirt,blue tie with orange stripes and a burgundy blazer. I put them on reluctantly. Oh well,I suppose they where better than the thing they called a uniform I had to wear back at home. I don't even want to go there.

I put on my clothing,me being me the blazer was to long and the skirt was embarrusingly short. I couldn't go into school on my first day looking like the slut of the century. I pulled of the skirt and fumbled through my wardrobe looking for something I could wear. I found my black skater skirt. I hoped that they wouldn't mind the fact that my uniform wasn't perfect but I suppose it wasn't far off. I put on my tights and shoes deciding to exept the fact that I would never find a blazer with small enough arms. After all I was fairly small. Well averidge height but I suppose you could say I was fairly skinny.

I applie my everyday make up;foundation,mascara and a touch of blush. I looked into the mirror and shrugged I my terrible attempt at trying to be pritty and grabbed the pink hairbrush to the side of me in the suitcase. I'm glad my mother helped me pack and put all the stuff I would need straight away in one bag. I hadn't really thought about my mum since I arrived here and I feel kind off bad but I'm planning on sending a postcard or something back home. I took the hairbrush and gently brushed my long curly hair fixing any nots. I tied my hair in a side plait and checked the time.

6:57-did it really take me that long. Well I suppose I'm a daydreamer. I grabbed my mint green satchel of the ground and opened my front door. Boy was I mervous.

I unfolded the price of paper flora had placed in my pocket with a map to the school and attempted to read her peculiar style of hand writing.

I have up and decided to attempt to follow the arrows. It was like a treasure map except x marked the hell hole that is school. I know that I don't even know what this school is like but my school experiences have generally been unpleasant so I really have no other evidence to rely on. I'm glad I left early it looked like this was going to take a while.

I continued following floras badly illustrated map when I was lead to a beach it was so adorable. I checked my watch , 7:18 I had a few minutes to spare seeing as it looked as though my destination was just a few blocks away.

I walked onto the sand and sat on a bench near the edge of the beach on a raised platform. I thought about things and I decided I was determined to fit in at this school. This time I wouldn't be that girl with anxiety who finds more comfort talking to herself than others , who has only two friends in which she barely ever enroles in conversation with. The girl who is to shy to talk to boys and has no self confidence what so ever. The girl who spends about half an hour planning a phone call that she is not even certain is going to happen. The girl who has been to so many different schools that no one can even be bothered to count. The girl who is invisible and no one notices her. The girl who rarely leaves the house and if she does has panick attacks.This year, I promised my self, I wouldn't be that girl.

I mean don't get me wrong I have recovered some what from my anxiety , panick attacks are less frequent, I can make some what fluent conversation and leaving the house is not such a struggle. But it is not gone forever and I know it never will be. I checked my watch 7:38. I had to be there for 8 but I may aswell get there early and make a good impression.

I picked up my bag from the sandy ground sighing. I slowly wondered into the big school gates staining way to long at a sight tht simply read 'penola - catholic school' to avoid any eye contact with any of the other students that where not trying I hide the fact that they where starting at me. I shivered under there stairs. And not the good shiver. I shuffled away in a hurry towards the sight that said office hoping to get away from the many people who obviously had the same plan to be early as me. I took a big breath before opening the heavy red doors to the office. This was it....

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~Saffron.