Reader X Random People

Reader X Reader

So this happened. - Kalejoy (did you miss me?)

You were having a bad day. You woke up this morning to find that your cat/hamster hybrid thing had peed on your Shrek toaster, your favorite one, the one that infused whatever you were toasting with onion juices. After sobbing about it for about ten hours, you decide to go out and buy a new one. But fuck it all, you forgot to put on pants before you left the house. Of course, you only happen to realize this when you get to Walmart, and at that point, it's not worth going all the way home and all the way back. So you're just patrolling the kitchen section of Walmart, in just your underwear, when you see them. You're surprised, to say the least. You never expected to see them here. And the reason why is because, well, they are you. 

"(Y/n), what are you doing here?" You ask. 

"I could ask the same of you, (y/n)," you respond to yourself. 

You bite your lip. What are you supposed to say to yourself? 

"Mr. Bootykins peed on the Shrek toaster again," you say, as if offering some sort of explanation for running into you here. 

"(Y/n), do you know how hot and seductive you look right now? I can't stand it," You ignore your explanation, looking your pant-less self up and down. 

You blush, looking away from yourself. 

You moves closer to you, cupping your chin in your hand and pulling your face to meet your own. 

Your breath hitches. 

"(Y/n), I can't take it anymore. Please," you whine.

You don't answer, just grab yourself by the face and start furiously making out with you. 

You runs your hands down your body, feeling you, and you moan. 

"(Y/n)," you gasp, as you slides your hand into your underwear and starts fingering you.

"(Y/n), I'm ready this time, let's do it." You tells you. 

"YES," you moan, unable to contain your excitement. You begin to undress yourself, tugging at your shirt, and you pulls off your underwear. 

Soon, both of you are undressed and on the ground. You're on the bottom, and you're on the top. 

"(Y/n) you're about to get destroyed by this dick, that may or may not actually exist." You tell yourself. 

"(Y/n) I just need you in me already," you pant, eagerly awaiting penetration. 

You thrust into your hole, and you let out a low growl of pleasure. 

"Harder, (y/n), harder!"

You continue thrusting into yourself, your bodies moving together, increasing speed. You keep feeling yourself, knowing exactly how to pleasure you, loving the dirty groans and swearing coming from your mouth. The floor is slick with your sweat beneath you, and you feel filthy, but it's an amazing kind of filthy. 

But, right as you're both about to climax, Walmart security finds you. They scream and cover their eyes as you cum all over yourself with your dick that may or may not actually exist. You pay no mind to the Walmart security however, because there are big, steaming, gaping holes where their eyes were, and they're now wandering around blindly, crying out from the pain. 

You cast yourself a sneaky look, and lean down to lick up some of the cum that may or may not actually exist. 

Weirdly enough, it smells like onions. You look up in shock as you pulls off your head to reveal the head of Shrek.

"Shrek??" You gasp. No wonder your dick that may or may not actually exist felt so big. Shrek was pretending to be you this while time!

"No, think again, lassie," Shrek says in that hot accent of his, before pulling off his head to reveal...

"Mr. Bootykins?!" You shriek. Mr. Bootykins nods. It was him the whole time. You were just fucking with your cat/hamster hybrid thing. You die from the shock, and descend into hell as Mr. Bootykins smiles triumphantly above you, forever taunting your soul.