When I Was 20 Years Old (Mature content) (Complete)

Chapter 20

I stared at my parents graves. I came here every week with Jason and Bradley to talk to them. I often found myself wondering how they sounded. I had heard their voices on DVDs and videos and stuff, but I wondered what it was like in person. I wondered what it was like to be hugged by them and have a kiss on the cheek before I left the house for school. All things, I never experienced.

Don't get me wrong. Jason and Bradley loved me like their own, but it wasn't the same. They weren't my parents. They weren't the two beings that nurtured me and loved me and created me. All my siblings loved me, but none of them could compare to the unconditional love of a parent.

I brushed off the leaves from the cold headstones. They had weathered over the past thirteen years, but their names and the dates were still visible. Even if they weren't, I knew what was on them by heart anyway. I had known it for years. Jason promised me that were would either get new stones from them or have them re-carved because it wasn't fair to have such battered stones above their heads. To the left of my parents lay my still born sister and the closest people we had to an aunt and uncle, apart from Matt and Riley. It was a mournful row of graves below my feet at the back of the yard beneath a massive oak tree.

"Mum!" I whispered, "Dad! It me again. I miss you both so much. I wish I could have met you in person just once. I see you all the time in my dreams and I try to reach out to you but you are out of my reach. Just like in real life." I sighed, "Tiffany is as cute as ever! I'm glad Jason and Bradley were able to adopt her. They finally have a kid who will call them dad and papa. Steven is still a bit of an idiot and Louise and Jessica mostly stick to themselves. And of course Taylor, you know Lance and Martha's son, is too young to play. It's not like Rory and Luke's baby can play because he kinda not born yet." I laughed, "I mostly stick with Adam to be honest. But it feels weird whenever he calls me auntie because he's older than me but I'm his aunt..." I trailed off. I sighed, "School is ok though. Just a couple of bitches here and there and.... my boyfriend kinda broke up with me so my heart is kinda in pieces at the moment..." I breath caught in my throat, "This is why I need my mum here to tell me it's all ok and that he wasn't worth it or that it's his loss or something....Its weird because I never met you guys but I miss you so much..." I sunk to my knees, "I love you!"

I felt Jason besides me, "Its ok kiddo!"

"It just hurts!" I whispered.

"I know honey!" He replied, "I know."

I harshly wiped my tears, "Are we going?"

"Yes," he said, "We are."

"Did you hear what I said?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied honestly.

"Do you think they did?" I asked.

"I don't personally believe in an afterlife," Jason whispered, "But if there is an afterlife then I know they would have heard it."

"I love them," I whispered.

"And they love you Jasmine," he replied, "We all love you."

I nodded, "I know."

He stood and and held out his hand, "Come on Jasmine, let's go home."

I nodded. I took his hand and rose to stand up. We turned and slowly walked away from the plot where our family stood. My heart throbbed with over whelming pain and loving and sorrow.

I, Jasmine Lucy Alexandra Ride, never met my parents.

But I loved them anyway.

And they loved me.

Because we are family.