Stronger

A Fresh Start

One week later:
I took a deep breath as I stepped out of my car and onto the floor of the hospital parking  deck.

Today, Lily is officially mine.

Last night, everyone explained to Lily what was going to happen.

She'd come out to my car, get into her carseat, and I'd take her home to live with me. Forever.

Lily still hasn't talked past saying her name, and we haven't  really made any progress.

I don't know how everything is going to go, but we'll make it work.

We have to.
              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I checked in at the nurses desk as I always do, since I've come every day for a week now, just giving a little wave, and Faye came out to meet me.

"Today's the day." She said in her Texas accent. I nodded my head in reply, trying not to cry.

"Let's go get her!" Faye exclaimed as she began walking towards Lily's door.

When I opened the door, I expected Lily to be sleeping, since it was only 7:30 in the morning, but I was wrong. She was wide awake, laying on one side, knees hugged to chest.

"Hi sweetpea!" I whispered, just loud enough for her to hear.

Lily still doesn't react to me, or anyone else for that matter, but the nurses and doctors all assure me that that type of thing is normal in this situation.

Last night, I'd explained to lily what we were going to do.

I knew she was nervous about it, since she's so scared of everything. Last night, a few tears slipped down her face while I was talking to her.

It upset me, but once again, the medical staff told me not to worry about that. I knew it wasn't anything I'd done, but I was still so sad for her.

Faye went over to Lily. "Remember what we talked about last night? How we're going to put you in a wheelchair and take you to ms. Emily's car so that she can be your new mommy?" Faye asked gently.

Of course, we got no reply, so Faye went to work, pulling the remaining few IV's carefully out of Lily's tiny arm.

I stood in the corner while Faye prepped my daughter. My little girl. She's my baby. It's so strange, but so wonderful to be able to call myself a mom. To have a child to love.

"Emily, why don't you come on over and help me put Lily into her in her special chair?" The sweet nurse smiled at me.

I walked over and knelt beside Lily's bed. Her eyes were closed. She was pretending to sleep, trying to convince us she was.

"Pea, it's time to go home! Ready?" I asked quietly.

I could sense her fear. I want so bad to make it all disappear. Right now. I don't want it to take a long time, like I know it will.

I looked at Faye. Her look told me that we were just going to go with it, and put her into the chair.

It's not that she needs the chair, I could have carried her, she's light as a feather. But we didn't know what she was going to act like. Considering how little she trusts us, she could start to flail and cause me to drop her.

So, we'd decided that a wheelchair was the best option, since no one would be physically touching her for a long period of time.

"Alright dear, Ms. Emily is going to pick you up and move you into your special chair now, so that we can take you to the car." Faye explained.