Stronger

Love Makes You Do Crazy Things

All I could see was Lily flying through the air, it was on repeat in my brain, which had turned itself off as soon as the cop car bulldozed over the man who called himself Gabriel.

I feel myself getting sick and throw up on the ground in front of me.

I'm still clinging to Kinley, who is screaming, crying in fear. I'm vaguely aware of the fact that I'm trying to comfort her but am doing no good at it.

I know there are people around me, trying to get me to get up, but I can't, not until I hear my Lily.

I can hear her gasping for breath, I know it's her.

I come back to my senses and realize the chaos going on around me, but I pay no attention to it as I run over to Lily.

"Lily!" I scream when I get to her.

Her eyes are rolling back in her head, she's seizing.

I put my finger on her tongue to keep her from swallowing it. Paramedics are swarming around me.

"Mama's got you, baby, mama's got you. It's alright." Tears are sliding down my face as I do what I was taught when this all began, what to do when she seizes.

She's only had one seizure brought on by a panic attack since I've had her, but no where near as bad as this.

There are people trying to tell me to hand her over to the paramedics, but they know they can't take me away from her right now, I'd have to give her willingly since I'm tending to her seizes.

She begins to turn blue.

That's when I realize the professionals need to take over.

I step back as the paramedics strap an oxygen mask across her face and lay her on a stretcher.

I'm forced to drive behind them and not be in the ambulance with my Lily because Kinley has to ride in a car seat.

I quickly strap the two year old in and race to catch up with the ambulance, driving much faster than the speed limit.

My fast driving does me no good, because when I pull in behind the ambulance and rush into the hospital, my little girl is being rushed through the doors into the ER and nurses hold me back.

They push me over to the waiting area, where I sit down and hold Kinley to my chest tightly, and sob into the toddler's shoulder.

I'm so worried, more worried than ever about my Lily.

I want my mom here, I want her to come and tell me everything's gonna be okay, to come and rub my back.

But she's a million miles away.

In a few minutes, a nurse walks up to me and says that Lily is awake and crying, and that I need to go back to her.

The nurse leads me down the hall at what feels like a snail's pace, due to the fact that I want to sprint.

When we finally get to the door, I can already hear Lily screaming from the inside, telling people to not touch her, and screaming for me.

I open the door as quickly as I can and run over to her.

I sit Kinley on the bed at cup her face in my hands so that she can only look at me, and she won't be able to see the other people in the room.

"It's okay, baby, I'm here. I'm here." She wraps her little arms around me tightly and I hug her back.

"Please, ms. Em-ly, please tell them to stop, please tell them to stop hurting me!" She screams.

I look around her for the first time, rather than directly at her, and see that there are two IVs in her little arm, and I can see that they've taken blood.