Stronger

What Am I?

I decided to take my family out to breakfast the next day to tell them the big news.

She had done the usual, woken up a few times during the night with her nightmares, which I have determined are really flashbacks, but tonight was a good night, not too many of them.

"It's time to wake up, baby girl." I say, gently sweeping the hair out of her face.

When she surfaces from her sleep, she awakes with a gasp like always, but quickly remembers where she is and that she's safe.

"Let's go out to breakfast this morning. I have a really yummy place in mind." I say, knowing for a fact that the little girl has never been to IHOP.

She nods her head and pulls the covers off of her and stretches.

"Hey Lily, would it be alright if my family comes with us? Remember when you met my mom, she was super nice." I approach the situation with caution, I really want my family and Lily to have a good relationship, like they would if she was my biological daughter.

"Remember them? G-mom and Aunt Becca?" I say. Lily nods her head. "Well, they're going to meet us there, and so is my dad. Your G-pop. I promise you he's really nice."

"Okay mama." Lily replies, causing me to stop in my tracks.

Lily called me her mama.

I know that she didn't even realize she did it, that it just slipped out. But it's a wonderful feeling that she called me that at all.

"Can I take Caroline with me?" She asks and holds up her doll.

"Sure pea." I reply as I go over to her drawers to pick out an outfit, still in shock over what she called me.

I pick out a long sleeved white tee with ruffles all over it, with coral patterned leggings.

She lets me help her get dressed and I put a coral bow in her white- blonde hair that falls well past her shoulders. I try not to look at the places where her hair has been ripped out of her head, and is trying to grow back. It's just another reminder of the horrible things that her father has done to her.

"C'mon Lily, let's go climb into your carseat." I say, taking her hand and locking the door on the way out.

I help Lily buckle herself in before getting into the driver's seat and calling my mom.

"Hi honey, on your way?" She answers.

"Yeah, pulling out of my driveway right now. Be there in fifteen. What about you?"

"We're about five minutes ahead of you. I'll go ahead and go in to get our table."

We say our goodbyes and hang up. I turn on the radio, hoping to ease the tension I can feel radiating off of the little girl in the backseat.

When that doesn't seem to work, I lower the volume.

"Lily honey, what's wrong?" I say.

"Noting Ms. Em-ly. I'm okay." Her reply is classic. Something her stupid father instilled in her that I absolutely hate.

"Lily, you don't have to pretend you're okay. I can help you when something is going on." I look at my daughter in the backseat.

"But I don't want you to be mad, ms. Em-ly." Lily says quietly, as if she feels that she shouldn't have said it.

"Oh Lily, don't say that, I'd never be mad at you over your feelings." I reach my arm back and place it on her lower leg. She flinches away at first, but then releases the tension.