Glass Jar | Phan

Chapter 3

Dan

"faggot" I hear the words slip out of my step fathers mouth, cold needles hitting my chest. Like I have been winded from my heart. If only I could stand up to the tall man ahead of me, brown hazel eyes that could turn read as fire, fists as damaged as my shivering body, a posture so slouched and stressed I can feel the tension. I hear words slip off his tongue, but my ears are so hazed I couldn't get anything from it, just a few letters in the lost alphabet of life. I nod my head to whatever he just said, picking up my school bag from behind and going a safe distance around Josh before walking out the door, to a plain mismatch of grey and blue skies. I make my way towards school, with thoughts as bright as green but dark as yellow.

Blue.

-

I walk through the school gates without hesitation, feeling eyes burn into my back and people looking at me with fear, like I have killed someone. I don't know where the rumours started, of me breaking out of jail or killing something or someone innocent. I wouldn't even be here if that was the case- are these people really that stupid?

"I heard he once tried to kill his father"

The cold whispers burn through my ears. I wish I could turn around and tell this poor uneducated child that sometimes things don't work out, sometimes people are misunderstood and sometimes I try to forget my father. The guy who left my mother to get a paper, but kept walking down the road and left her looking after me and my brother Adrian. The same guy that carved his soul into a family then left, leaving it behind along with the memories. I had been trained on my thoughts for so long I didn't realize I was already beside the my locker.

Blue, blue, blue

I shake my head in frustration and don't even bother to open my locker today, when I look at the blue, all I see is the ocean eyed boy staring back at me. I stroke my feet along the floor to my next class- this time I'm early, so early I'm the only one in the isolated classroom. I take a seat at the back, in the wooden desk covered in scratches. I turn the seat around to face the window on an angle, sitting in the hardwood chair and balancing my feet in the windowsill, next to empty coffee cups from the laziness of my teacher. Taking out my phone, I plug my headphones in and listen to the soft sounds of my phone, displacing me from earth and into a beautiful place- I call my own world.

"Chris! I didn't study, I didn't study,o-oh no I'm going to fail!!"

"Peej, The test wont be that bad- Copy off me!"

"Chris?!? I can't cheat, I will just study now- quick educate me"

Two boys sat down on the seats two rows in front of me, talking over something not loud enough to cover my music. I pretend not to notice and stare out the window at the sea of grass and trees next to small buildings of teenagers stressing over shitloads of work. I look at the boys, Chris and PJ  I think, one makes eye contact with me and goes wide eyed before facing the other and pointing his pencil in my direction, looking rather scared at my actions.

"Uhm, Peej has D-Dan been there the whole time"

One stutters out, the other nods. I can hear what they are saying now, the other swallows fearfully and takes on last glance at me before whispering "What if he kills us...." I take out my bag and watch the two turn in fear, I pull out a paper and a pen writing the words-

AS IF I AM A MURDERER

I tap on my desk loudly, watching the two spin around in fear and reading the words I held in the air before looking at each other and staring back blankly at me.

"I-I'm s-sorry, W-we didn't mean t-to bother y-you. P-please don't hurt us"

I flip the peace of crinkled paper over.

I WOULDN'T HURT A FLY

The two look at me in confusion before I turn around and plug my headphones in, but quiet enough so I could hear their conversation.

"Even you wouldn't hurt a fly, Chris"

"PJ, you wouldn't even stand on a flower- let alone hurt a fly"

"Would to!, I'm manly"

"My Nana could roast you"

Before their useless conversation ended, a bell rang through my ears and the classroom started to be filled. I span my chair to face my desk properly, watching the two boys talk to people walking in and pointing in my direction, obviously telling a wild story of me killing them. I stare at my phone pretending to be unaware of the pairs of eyes burning my skin, until the teacher walks in with a smile. "Ahhh, Howell your early today aye?" I look up at his face with a blank expression before shrugging and facing my head down to my lap. "Good morning to you to Daniel" I cringed at his choice words for using my name properly and rise my head to see him continuing the lesson, instantly I start thinking about if it was right to give attention to the two boys. But then I think-

They didn't even approach how I was mute?

being a mime to the world, locked in a small invisible box marked as fragile down the middle. They didn't care? not a single care in the world?

I wish for that.

//Hey guys! I hope you enjoy the story so far and aren't too bored, I haven't updated recently because I have been rather busy, I hope to do 2-4 updates every week depending on how busy I am. Thanks to those 3 people reading this, s/o to you xx//