Glass Jar | Phan

Chapter 5

//I'm thinking of doing a one shots book because I have so many ideas but they aren't big enough to put into a story so I'm not sure.//

Dan

The wind whistling through the window sang like birds in my ears. I opened my eyes slowly at the familiar dark room. The curtains pulling from the wind and pushing, going in tune with my breathing. I sit up and feel my legs slide over my bed like rocks. I watch the sun beam through the rips of my curtains, landing softly on my desk chair bringing out the highlights of the piece of fabric placed softly on top.

Phil's Jacket.

The jacket yelled colours of black and purples, pinks and whites. But the only colour I could picture was a calming blue, like a pool of regrets and a storm of rain. All I could take from this fabric was blue.

I was so unsure if it was from my emotion, my mood. His eyes.

I stand up with my bare feet being cooled from the soft carpet, and take steps towards the jacket before picking it up and placing it on the mismatch greys of my bed.

All that played through my mind was last evening. The brisk cold breeze hitting my face. His soft words upon my ears like a lullaby. The way he sounded concerned for me and his smile. It could make flowers grow, cure world hunger, possibly light a city.

My mind was blocked to the sound of a bang, a fist hitting wood. Josh.

"get up fag"

Those words played like a broken record as I got ready first I showered, letting the motionless water slip through my skin, and letting the red ribbons of my wrists feel an intense sting. I didn't care, it felt deserved. I then quickly got out, not looking at my reflection and getting myself ready, throwing Phil's jacket into my bag.

-

The school bell rings like a chime, students standing and pushing chairs in with the noise of a scratched marble floor. I stand with my knees week, walking out the door to a hallway of hurricanes, I start walking to my usual spot with my bag laying on one side of my body. I have my headphones in, but not listening to any music at the time, all the noise would be taken up by an endless whisper of rumours and the sound of people trying to avoid the dark silhouette that is my clothing.

I walk into the lunch room, it's a large room full of where people usually stay during lunch. Of course there is the usual stereotypical tables. Then there is my table.

An average sized table, sat beside the exit of the cafeteria to the outside world. No one sat here, only me. I am stuck here with my own thoughts every day, listening to endless notes of my music playlist and drawing mindless words into my notebook. The words can range from anything- my thoughts, notes, songs, drawings. Poems even. Nothing special.

Phil

The school bell rang and everyone was set free "Saved by the bell" Chris whispers towards my direction, I sense Pj nodding behind me as we pick up our bags and head to the lunch room. We got to our table, being greeted by all my friends. I smiled warmly at them, but something was different today.

"Hey Phil, you look quite happy today" a familiar voice spoke to my left as I turned and face them. "He is always happy Joe, nothing new" Joes sister replied before approaching the table and sitting down next to me. Everyone started greeting Zoe, followed by Marcus and Louise. We all sat around until I realized what the conversation was on.

"I heard Dan started smoking" An anxious Caspar spoke, making my heart feel bitter and feeling myself uneasy.

"Caspar don't start rumours, how would you feel if someone started that about you." My voice was cold and sounded like I was shaky. Caspar shrugged and looked down.

"Phil, where did that come from?" Zoe questioned beside me in a confused tone.

"Nowhere, I just find it kind of rude." My voice was small, I wanted to say so much more. But couldn't everyone have ignored my statement and continued gossiping over some mindless news in the school. Probably rumours.

I glance around the room until I see a lonely Dan Howell, using his headphones to block the rumours about him and watching people avoid eye contact with him and giving him disgusted looks. I stand up and start walking towards him.

"Phil where are you going?" Joe questioned me and everyone stopped their conversations to look in my direction.

"Nowhere"

I turn around and walk towards Dan before sitting in the set in front of him, I could feel the feared eyes burning into the back of my head and I could hear people stopping their gossip to look at me, I acted as if I couldn't even tell.

Dan

I watched Phil walk towards me with a proud expression before sitting in front of me with a warm smile. People all around the room stared at us wide eyed, with fear and with shock. This hadn't happened before, everyone probably thought he was going to get killed.

"Hey Dan, what you up to?" Phil looked like he genuinely cared about what I was doing and it shocked me. I took out my head phones and wrote in my notebook-

Phil, why are you here?

He read it quickly before looking at me wide eyed. "We are acquaintances" he said with a bubby tone, not going to lie it sort of annoyed me.

But your friends will question you, I don't want to cause you trouble.

My words read like poems in his ocean eyes, he looked up at me with concern "Dan, don't worry. I won't say a thing you are not causing trouble" his words felt meaningful and true. I nodded at him, regardless of how much I didn't want him here, how I wanted to be alone and how I didn't want more rumours to start or how I didn't think it was a god idea for him to sit here. I couldn't say no.

There was something about how Phil wanted to be with me and not his popular friends that shook me. I had no clue what Phil wanted from me, or even why he walked up to me in the first place. I had so many questions to ask this blue eyed boy, but I thought for now they should be unanswered.

Phil looked at me with a smile, bringing my back a shivery feeling and my stomach turning. Then I remembered his jacket. I picked up my bag and zipped it open before taking out his jacket and dropping my bag on the floor, delicately giving the jacket to Phil's hands. I didn't want to give it up, but I didn't want to be a creep either.

"Oh, Thanks Dan, I totally forgot about this jacket even though I saw you last night" He giggled softly "Thanks anyways" He looked at me softly and I gave him a half smile. I looked behind Phil at his group of friends staring at me like I was going to murder Phil, I looked at Phil hinting at him with my eyes that his friends were watching. Phil turned around and looked at them before the group quickly turned back around.

I wrote on my notebook- "Not causing trouble"

Phil turned around to my writing and looked up at me. I rolled my eyes before he started to speak "Dan you aren't, they are okay?" I looked back at him unpleased.

The bell rang before me and Phil both looked at each other in the eyes. "Damn it" Phil looked down at his jacket before sighing and standing up "Promise to text me later Dan, I'd rather hand out with you when my friends aren't being huge stalkers" Phil giggled as he fixed his hair. I gave a nod

Phil hesitated and turned around "Bye flower boy" I blushed and looked away hoping he didn't notice before giving a small wave and watching him walk towards his table to pick up his bag.

I wander what this boy wants.

//S.O to those four people reading this now, thanks//