Clarissa Snape [incomplete]

twenty-nine

— The Fallen Headmaster —

I was completely zoned out in my charms class, staring at the drawings previous students had left when they were blocked from my view by a paper bird flying onto the table. I looked around and then made eye contact with Draco. Of course.

'Read it,' he mouthed.

I opened it and read, 'Meet me after class,' in his nice handwriting. I looked at him and nodded, it was the day Dumbledore would be killed by either Draco or my dad. There was nothing positive going to come of it besides the Dark Lord's approval which was something Draco needed desperately. My father, however, had to prove himself too but I didn't want either to commit the crime.

For fucks sake, I would do it if I had to!

"Class dismissed," said Professor Flitwick, shooing us off.

I gathered my things and waited outside the classroom for my best friend. When Draco emerged we started walking back to the common room in silence. 

I was about to speak and ask why he wanted me to meet him when he said, "I have something for you," with his hands behind his back.

"What is it?" I asked, looking behind him, confused but he moved so I couldn't see.

He smiled, "Close your eyes."

So I did.

Then I felt his lips on mine.

I gasped through my nose but I definitely didn't pull away. He felt like home, warm and gentle. He fit against me like a puzzle piece as cliche as it sounds.

I felt tears start to run down my cheeks as I tangled my hands in his hair. Draco's arms hugged me tightly to him as our lips moved in sync. I never wanted it to end, I wanted to stay in that moment forever because it just felt so right... but we had to pull away.

As I caught my breath, Draco planted small pecks on my cheeks, nose, my forehead, chin, and then my lips again.

"I had to do that before the world slips into chaos," he said, resting his head against mine while he wiped away my tears.

"Why are you crying?" he asked. 

My heart was pounding in my chest. I couldn't say it. Three words sitting in the pit of my stomach couldn't surface but Draco understood. He gave me a small smile which I returned and I kissed his lips once more. I placed my hands on his which rested on my cheeks and I held them by my lips.

"Don't you have to go?" I asked, dreading his task.

"I don't want to," he sighed.

"But you have to," I frowned taking a step back from him. He nodded and ran his thumbs over my knuckles.

"I'll see you later?" he joked. I giggled softly and nodded my head yes, wiping the rest of my tears and sniffling. 

He kissed my cheeks one last time and left from the Astronomy Tower.

—

I was walking back to the common room with the taste of Draco still lingering on m lips.

"Hey, dad," I said dreamily as he passed me, still in my daze.

Then it hit.

Shit.

I turned on my heel and ran after my father. He couldn't kill Dumbledore. He had to be on the Dark Lord's side.

Tears fell again only they were angry and sad, unlike the happy ones I had shared with Draco previously.

I watched as he sprinted up the steps and halted when I saw a bunch of other Death Eaters . I turned to the side and bumped into the one and only Harry Potter.

He looked so vulnerable and scared but I'm sure I looked no different.

We looked at each other and for the first time, we didn't hate each other. We didn't form a bond or friendship, but an understanding. We were both scared of someone we cared for. 

He took my hand and I couldn't help but hold his tightly, scared out of my mind.

They stood there. The headmaster and my father.

Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

"No," I whispered.

"Severus," said Dumbledore.

More silence. I went to move but Harry held me back.

"Please," said Albus.

"No! No!" I whispered trying to break from the Potter boy.

He couldn't. Father couldn't. No, he had to be loyal to the Death Eaters.

"Oh no, please dad," I said sobbing quietly.

"Avada Kedavra."

My heart dropped and my body moved without my consent. 

"No!" I screamed, running up the steps.

"Clarissa," Harry yelled, trying to stop me.

Bellatrix cast the dark mark in the sky and the Death Eaters retreated. 

I sobbed on the stairs, never reaching the top.

Harry ran up to me but my wand was under his chin before he could speak.

"Oh, how I wish I could kill you," I whispered.

"K-kill me?" he asked. I smirked and flashed him my dark mark, something I needed to stop doing.

"We all want you dead but we're saving you for the Dark Lord. After all, how long has he waited?" I asked, tracing his jaw with the tip of my wand. 

"Goodbye, Potter," I said and walked out.

—

Bellatrix and I trashed the great hall before we all wandered outside, setting Hagrid's hut into flames and cheering. My father yelled at us to leave as he watched Harry. Draco stumbled off but there was no way I was leaving my dad.

Harry shot spells at him that he blocked when Harry shouted, "Fight back! You coward, fight back."

I don't think so.

I shot a spell at the boy at the same time as Bella. Dad turned and scolded us, "He belongs to the Dark Lord!"

Dark Lord my ass! For one, he was protecting the pathetic boy with a muggle for a mother and second, Harry had insulted him.

Bellatrix huffed and stalked off as I stood my ground.

I watched as my dad started to walk off but Harry had other plans.

"Sectumsempra!"

But no, my father blocked it right away and knocked Potter down again.

"You dare use my own spells against me, Potter?" he asked.

"Yes, I am the Half-Blood Prince."

After his words, he kicked Harry's wand from his hand and left.

I didn't return to Hogwarts. Not after all that happened. I devoted myself completely to the Dark Lord and I never went back.