Begin Again (Book One Of The Kingston Series)

Chapter Seventeen: Love Dies

Chapter Seventeen: Love Dies

"If he understands the power he holds over me. He wins. Isn't that what love is? A game of tug of war. He tugs too hard, I lose everything. I'm not willing to sacrifice myself for anyone. He will inevitably crush me. What will I be left with then? A claim to have loved and lost? No. I won't pick up the pieces. He won't ever hold my heart in his hands, because I won't risk it falling."

Jasmine

"I am really tired." I tell him. Keith opens his eyes. Looking at me. I let my hands on his face drop and I stand. "We should get some rest too."

"That's what you want?" He confirms with me. I nod running a hand through my hair.

"Yes."

"Then let us sleep." He stands. Grabbing my hand and walking the few feet to the bed. He pulls his sleeves down and lays down. Already bare foot. I sigh. Walking out of the room after murmuring 'shower.' I get into the shower. Feeling the water take away some of my stress. Then, I'm crying.

Sobbing. The water rushes down my face with tears. I cry for Kelly. I cry for Keith. I cry for everyone. I miss a week ago. When I was yelling at them for making me choose. I plant my palms on the shower wall. Trying to hold myself together. All the feelings I've pushed down come bubbling up.

The water gets a little colder telling me the hot water will run out soon, and I make quick work of scrubbing my body clean. I wrap a towel around my body. Tracing my scraped knuckles. My silver ring is glinting into my eyes. I look into the mirror. Seeing heavy bags under my eyes. The pounding in my head gets louder. I push open my door and grab a pair of sleeping shorts, a tank, and underwear. Gerard hasn't shown any sign of attacking us. Even so. I don't think I'll be able to sleep.

Walking to the living room I pause at the scene. Seeing all my guys together. Keith is facing the doorway. Probably waiting for me. His headphones are in. His face relaxed. One of his arms is under his head. The other across his stomach. Kaden's leg is draped over Keith's. His has a sleepy smile on his face. His green eyes hidden, closed. One of his arms is draped over Kol, who lays on his left. His leg, that isn't on Keith, is over Kol's ankle. Killian has his back against Kol's, his elbow back slightly to rest on Kol's rib.

Adorable.

"Scoot." I whisper shoving Kaden's arm. He moans and gets onto his side. Keith moves a little too. Both looking similarly disgruntled. I squish between them. Wanting the warm tingles to soothe my heart ache. I think of Kelly. She is practically a sister. She is timid at times, but has a fiery temper. She is caring and practically run my life.

I miss her, I realize.

~~~

I open my eyes. Waking from the half asleep dozing state I was in. I sit up. Yawning. Kaden's arm slips down my waist to rest on my lap with my movement. I push the blanket and Kaden's arm off and crawl off the bed. Standing and pulling down my riding up tank. I stretch and look around.

"Baby doll," Killian murmurs half asleep. "Whats wrong?"

"Nothing. I want to read a bit." I tell him licking my dry lips. He moans thickly and flips over draping an arm around Kol. I watch the scene. I think of them... together.

My cheeks heat. I look away from them, not ready for the unexpected attraction that shoots through me. I walk over to the curtains. Seeing where the sun is at.

My phone ringtone has me jumping. I snap my head to it's direction. Hurrying toward it to try to stop the noise. I press answer and shove it to my ear.