Depressed | Phan {EDITING}

twenty six

DAN

*1 week later*

"Hey, Dan?" I hear my boyfriend call from his kitchen. His mum has gone out again - I assume on another business trip - and we have the place to ourselves for a few weeks.

"Y-Yeah?" I shout back, hearing footsteps approaching the living room.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asks, coming to the doorway.

"Um... S-Sure," I say hesitantly.

"Don't worry, there's nothing wrong. I just wanted to ask you about something."

"O-Oh... Okay..."

"So you know when you were telling me about those things?"

"Yeah, w-what about them?" I ask, nervously.

"Well you mentioned that you used to have a brother..." he starts, "What do you mean by 'used to'?"

"It's... Complicated," I sigh, looking down at my hands.

"Do you want to sit down, or-"

"Y-Yeah, actually. Thanks," I say, sitting down on his bed, him sitting next to me, shortly after.

"I had a brother, called Adrian, who was 4 years younger than me. Making him... 14, now. I managed to keep everything with my dad away from him and he never found out, but I quickly realised that I wouldn't be able to hide it all for much longer. So, I took him to a foster home and haven't seen him since..." I say, sighing and looking down at my lap.

"He sounds lovely," Phil smiles, putting his arm around me, "Haven't you tried to contact him?"

"N-No... I don't think he'd w-want to see me, anyway," I stutter.

"Of course he would, Dan. You were, essentially, his parent for a year. I'm sure he looks up to you - you're probably his idol."

"Exactly," I mumble.

"What?"

"Exactly," I say, speaking up a bit, "I mean, look at me, Phil. I'm not exactly a perfect specimen of a human."

"Nobody's perfect, Dan," Phil smiles, running his fingers through my hair.

"Okay, but I have depression. I don't want my brother seeing me like this. I don't want him to make the same mistakes I did."

"I-" Phil sighs, "I guess you're right. But, can you promise me something?"

I nod, "Yeah?"

"When you overcome this and you feel well enough, please go and see your brother?"

"When I overcome this? Philly, you know I probably won't, right? I don't want to put down your enthusiasm or anything, but I really don't think I'm strong enough to fight this."

"Well, I think you are. Dan, you're one of the strongest people I've ever met. You've been through so much," he smiles, holding my cheek, "I love you."

I smile back, meekly, "I love you too."

"I'm so proud of you, Dan. Remember that, forever."