Depressed | Phan {EDITING}

sixteen

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so a few things before this starts

Some people have said they wanted to do some phanart for this story (WHICH IS INCREDIBLE THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE ALL SO SWEET AND I JUST). Sooo my kik is:

mi.cro.wave

And you can send it to me on there (: And actually if you just want to talk to me in general you can message me on there <3 (if lots of people do i might make a group chat that'd be nice)

Also, my irl friend phxnfinity (who i have written a chapter for in her phanfic c; c;) drew me some really great phanart from like chapter 3 or something? idak... and im lazy so im not going to check.

This picture doesn't really give it justice because it has been in my blazer pocket for a few days🙄 oops sorry m8

And i am so happy right now and you all probably dont care but my parents said that once my grandma has visited from australia and gone back home and everything that i can get my hair cut and just as some background i haven't had my hair cut since i was about 5 and I've wanted to get it cut really short for years now and my parents have always said no and now I'm just really happy

I did this if you know what it is clap clap

oh and one last thing: me and phxnfinity are making a band called "take it or leave it" and our first two album names/song names we have are "Butterfly Effect" and "Logistical Error" (creds to my mother for that last one😂👌🏼) so yeah that's a thing, we might be completely sh.it who knows but you only live once so (dont you dare comment yolo or i stab a bit bi.tch s2g)

Sorry this was enormously long I'll just get on with the chapter

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Once the first episode has finished I get up and walk over to the TV, pressing the off button.

"I... Okay. I really didn't want to do this," I gulp, sitting back down and looking up at him, "But there's no point in avoiding it."

The pure look of fear on his face indicated that he knew exactly what I wanted to talk about. In that moment, in that split-second of time, I realised something. What I was saying before; it was a lie.

Somebody does need me. That pleading look in his eyes shows me that he needs somebody to help him. And that someone can be me.

"Neither of us want to talk about this and I know that. But whether we want to or not; we need to. Dan..." I pause, looking into his eyes, "what happened last night...?"

His breath catches in his throat and he starts to panic a little. "H-hey, I'm sorry," I say, "Look, I really am but please Dan? I can't help you if you don't tell me anything."

"I-I... um," he looks back at me, "H-how do I know I-I can trust you?"

"I would trust you with my life. We haven't been talking that long... Only a few months or something. But it feels like I've known you my entire lifetime. I won't judge you or anything, I promise, nothing you can say can change what I think about you," I say, truthfully.

Suddenly I realise what I just said; what I just admitted to myself. "Nothing you can say can change what I think about you."

I think I like him. I think I like Dan... I look at him again, properly, and realise that yes I like Dan. I really like Dan.

His voice quickly snaps me out of my trance, "I, um, where should I-I start...?" he mumbles, playing with his hands in his lap.

"Wherever you think is best," I say.

"O-okay. Well there is one t-thing you should p-probably know before I s-say anything else."

"Really? O-Okay," I reply, a little shocked that he's actually opening up to me.

"Phil... I'm depressed."

I gasp, "Oh my god, me too! I get so down in the dumps sometimes it's ju-"

"No. Phil. I have depression," he interrupts.

"Oh," I stammer, suddenly realising what he said, "I-I um... I-"

"Don't know what to s-say?" he finishes for me, "You d-don't need to say anything... I don't n-need s-sympathy, don't w-worry about me."

"I-" I try to start to speaking but he quickly interrupts me, again.

"Look. I-I'm fine... Just p-please let me finish. I w-want to tell you what h-happened... You d-deserve to know."

"So... It a-all began when I was e-eleven years old..."