In Love With Chaos (Sequel to Falling for a psycho Joker)

Smile..

JOKERS P.O.V

"Hello?" her voice sounded sweet, broken, and croaked when she answered. I opened my mouth to speak but could form no words. What the hell am I doing with my life? I thought as I hung up and threw the phone to the ground. "Damn it!" I yelled pulling at my hair. "Dammit!" I screamed louder kicked the chair next to me making it fall to the ground. I breathed heavily trying to calm down feeling tears threaten to fall out of my eyes. But I pushed them back. Slowly, Ever so slowly I strode to our bedroom laying back on the bed. The room smelled faintly of her perfume mixed with my scent of gunpowder which seemed to mix together and complement each other nicely. "I screwed up Eva.." I whispered as if she could hear me. I wonder where she is..? I left her all alone. I was arrogant and scared. I cant be a dad... I would be a horrible dad.... Im not ready for that.. Though I already love the child even if its un born.

I sighed desperately wishing I could wrap my arms around my love again. Two days without her and im going insane.. Not the good insane either. I got back up desperately wishing for an escape from my mind and my damn voices. I opened the cabinet pulling out the vodka. I opened it and started to chug it down. "One swig for my life.." I whispered swigging it roughly. "Another for my future wife.." I took another swig. "A third for my baby.." I growled out to myself roughly gulping a swig down. "Another since im crazy.." I bitterly chuckled. I wonder if it's a boy or girl.. Its probably a boy...

What would we name him? Larry? No that sucks.. Joe? No.. Greg? Jon? Damon..? Damon sounds nice..... I picked up the gun that was on the table playing with it in my hand. I was halfway through the bottle as my vision started to blur and my eyes became watery. "Eva.." I whispered hazily glaring at my tattoo of her name. "Guess I need to remove this.." I sighed pointing the gun to the tattoo. "Or remove myself.." I chuckled pointing it at my head giggling. I put the gun down on the table and gulped down some more vodka. I ran the bottle empty and stumbled to the cabinet for another. "Hush little baby don't say a word.." I sang as I sat down opening the bottle. "Jokers gonna shoot down a mocking bird.." I sang louder more off key. Another swig. "And if that mocking bird wont die.." I roughly sang. Another long gulp. "I'll stick a thousand needles in its eye.." I giggled. "Oh daddy's insane!" I laughed hysterically to myself. "So delusionally insane!" another swig. I chugged some more feeling angry with myself. I picked up the gun. "Daddy screwed up.." I whispered studying it. "Daddy screwed up.." I whispered again feeling the wheight of the gun in my hand. "Hmm.." I hummed out taking another swig. I pointed the gun to my head once more digging it into my temple. "Mommys never gonna talk to daddy again.." I felt tears stream out as I sobbed quietly.. "Mommy hates daddy!" I yelled.

"No no no! Daddy hit mommy!" I yelled my eyes shut closed no longer thinking about Eva anymore. "No Stop it daddy!" I screamed slamming the gun on the table.."Stop it!" I yelled trying to keep my mind from melting back to that day....

"No stop it please not in front of jack.." my mom yelled at my dad who slapped her across the face. I felt myself slide down in the corner. "You listen to me!" he yelled. Hitting her again making her fall to the floor with a thud... "STUPID.." daddy yelled kicking her repeatedly. "SLUT!" he yelled taking out his knife . "No please!" she pleaded. "Daddy no!" I yelled. He turned to me slightly. "Shut up!" he yelled at me. I clutched my blanket tighter. "Please.." her breath came out rigid and sharp. "Screw you!" he snapped and spat on her. He kicked her and kicked her and kicked her... "Mommy.." I whispered. "It'll.." she struggled to breathe. "It'll be alright jack..." dad chuckled bitterly. "That's a joke!" He yelled. "But I guess the jokes on you then!" daddy laughed angrily and knelt down next to mommy. "Why so sad honey?" mommy didn't move or breath. "Lets put a smile on that face!" he chuckled carving a smile on her. He threw the knife down on the floor and stood up slowly. "Jack go to your room.." he commanded. I did I practically ran to my room. "Mommy..." I whispered sobbing as I heard my dad drag her body outside..