I Need To Be Loved (Ricky Horror Fan Fic) [Book #1]

I'll Always Let You In

"So, is that boy, the one with the black hair and the makeup, is he your boyfriend?" my mum question as we walked through the merch tents. Ricky was doing a signing so it was just me and her for a while.

"Who? Ricky?" I asked. She could've every well meant any of my bandmates, but maybe I was just hoping she meant Ricky. As much as I didn't want a boyfriend or as much I told myself I didn't want a boyfriend, I still had feeling for him.

"Yeah. Are you two together?" she replied. She looked kind of... hopeful. I guess she just wanted me to be happy.

"Uh, no, not really," I stammered. I wasn't really sure how to respond. According to Jeremy and  Blake, we were together just because he told me he liked me, but we weren't. I still wasn't even sure if I wanted us to be together.

"But you like him?" she said in a questioning tone. Was it really that obvious that I liked him? It seemed like everyone and their mothers thought we were a couple.

"Well, uh, kinda," I responded with a sheepish smile. I looked down at the ground in an attempt to hide the blush that was forming on my face.

"Go for it! He obviously likes you and you guys would be cute together," she told me, pulling me into a side hug. I had  really missed these conversations with her. Before I had moved, we had been really close. She was more like me my best friend than my mother.

"You really think so?" I questioned. I was still so unsure about everything. I didn't know if I was ready to risk getting hurt. I wasn't sure if I wanted a relationship, but if my mum said I should go for it, I might change my mind. I guess I just trusted her a lot more than I trusted my friends.

"I know so, honey. I saw the way he looked at you and the way he was looking at you and the way he was holding your hand. It's obvious he likes you," she told me. Deep down, I knew she was right. He liked me; I liked him; so what was stopping us? All these emotions were so fucking confusing.

"I just... don't know. I'm not sure I even want a relationship," I confessed. I had never admitted that out loud. Everyone just assumed I wanted to be alone, but never had I told someone that.

"Why not?" she asked, shoving her hands in her hands in her pockets. She just didn't get it. I didn't want to end up like she had; alone and broken.

"I don't want to get hurt like dad hurt you," I responded, fidgeting with the belt loop on my jeans. I never thought I'd admit that to her.

"Oh, honey not all guys are as jerky as your dad was, and sure still is. You can't let him get in the way of you living your life. That Ricky seems like such a nice boy. He wouldn't do that to you. Your father is an asshole. Don't group all guys together and label them as asshole just because your father is one," she told me. I had really missed those pep talks. When I used to get bullied in high school, she was always there to give me these talks and I had missed them.

"You're right, but I just... I guess I'm just scared," I responded quietly. I let out a sigh. She was right. She was always right, but I had a hard time accepting it.

"I know this maybe hard, but just go for it. You can't live your life in fear, honey. Don't let something that happened almost twenty years ago continue to affect your life," she replied. Hearing her say it, even though my friends said it all the time, made me realize how much it was true.

"You're right. I need to forget about dad and move on. I have a guy who likes me. I need to stop being afraid," I agreed. I could just imagine how proud Jeremy would when he heard me say that.

"As much as you want to, Gabby, you can't live life alone," she added with a nod. She could read me like a book. Without saying it, she knew I wanted to be alone. Again, she was right. Everyone needs some help sometimes. Everyone needs to be loved.

"Thank you, mum," I told her, pulling her into a hug. For some reason, I always listened to my mum. Jeremy, Blake, Aaron, and Dan and even Devin had told me that same thing, but when she said it, I listened.

I wasn't just thinking about my love life either. I was always so shy around people. I never had an easy time letting people in. In that moment, I decided right then and there that I had to break out of my shell. I was an Warped Tour for crying out loud, but I was still hiding away from the world. As hard as it was going to be, I had to stop hiding in our bus on my laptop. I needed to actually do something with my life. I needed to have fun.

****************************

The first thing I did when I saw Ricky was colliding my lips with his. He seemed surprise at first but soon relaxed into it. He snaked his arms around my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"What was that for?" he questioned after pulling away. I just wanted to go back to go back to kissing him, but he had  the most adorable smile on his face, that I couldn't complain.

"I don't know. I'm just feeling really good right now," I replied with a shrug. To be honest, I was feeling fearless. God, now I'm sounding like Taylor Swift. That was never a good thing.

"Why're you feeling so good?" he asked, pulling me closer to him. I was surprised that no one had said anything about us just kissing in the middle of Warped Tour. I thought by now Jeremy would've popped up.

"I just had a really nice talk with my mum," I answered, pushing some of his hair out of his face. As my fingers brushed against his skin, a smile appeared on his face.

"About what?" he questioned. He was so close to my face that I could feel his warm breath on my skin. The feeling was nice and I wished we could stay here forever. It felt like we were the only two people around.

"Just about... how I need to get over how my dad hurt us and how I shouldn't group everyone together," I replied vaguely. I was a bit embarrassed to admit everything to him.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Well, I guess I couldn't be embarrassed anymore. I had to answered him.

"I kinda... well," I started, letting a sigh escape my lips. I wasn't sure how to put what I was feeling into words. "Well, I kinda... group all guys together and I've been distancing myself from everyone so I don't get hurt again. That's why I have such a hard time letting people in," I stammered. I looked down at his chest which was covered with a black t-shirt so I wouldn't have to look at him. Admitting that was a hard thing to do.

“Well, I’m not gonna hurt like your dad did,” he told me. He put his fingers underneath my chin and pushed my face up, forcing me to look at him. “Anyway, you didn’t have a hard time letting me in,” he pointed out.

“You’re different,” I mumbled, feeling my face get hot. Even though I had tried to fight my feelings for Ricky, I couldn’t. He truly was different.

“Well, I’m glad you let me in,” he whispered before pressing his lips lips against mine. No one had ever told ever told me they were happy to know me. No one.

“You are?” I asked when he unlocked his lips from mine. It was hard to believe that he was ‘glad’ to know me. I was just a normal, uninteresting girl. Why would he care if he knew me?

“Of course, Midnight. If it’s not obvious, I, uh… really like you,” he responded. No one had ever liked me the way Ricky did. I had never been anyone’s ‘crush.’ I suddenly felt… special.

“I really like you, too,” I replied, causing him to chuckle. He cute little laugh immediately put a smile in my face. Seeing him happy made me happy.

“So, does that mean you maybe want to… give us a try?” he questioned with hope in his beautiful eyes. The look on his face was so adorable that even if I had wanted to say no, I couldn’t.

“That sounds lovely, Ricky,” I told him with a grin. I’m not sure I had ever been this happy. Not once before was I able to say I was somebody’s girlfriend. Not only was that because, in my mind, I was nothing special, but because I had never gotten to know well enough let them like me. But now I could say I was Ricky’s girlfriend and I was happy I got to know him.