I Need To Be Loved (Ricky Horror Fan Fic) [Book #1]

What Could Be More Beautiful?

The next day, I was on my search for Ricky. Motionless In White had opened the Kevin Says stage and I hadn't woken up in time to meet him before they played. I had already checked the stage and their bus with no luck.

"Hey, Midnight," a familiar voice greeted. I looked up to see Chris's tell, thin figure standing in front of me. He gave me a friendly smile and stick his hands in his pockets.

"Hey, have you seen Ricky?" I questioned hopefully. I was about to go check their merch tent, but other than that, I was out of ideas.

"He's at our merch tent," Chris answered with a grin. He looked just as excited and happy as my band did, but he seemed to be able to control his emotions a bit better.

I quickly told Chris 'thank' and that I'd see him later and made my way to Motionless In White's tent. I took me awhile to find since there are so many tents and they seemed to move everyday.

"You're Midnight Davis, right?" a girl questioned in the middle of my hunt for the tent. I spun around to see a girl with a black half-shirt and jean shorts that were  so short, I'm sure I could see her ass hanging out. Her green eyes were rimmed tons of eyeshadow and her face was caked with foundation and blush. She pushed some of her long straight blonde hair behind her shoulder and towered over me. She gave off a bitchy attitude similar to the girls that used to make fun of me in Australia.

"Yeah," I replied. I forced a smile and hoped that she would simply ask for an autograph or a picture and continue with her day, but of course not.

She gave me a mean smirk instead. "You're fucking Ricky from Motionless In White, right?" she asked rudely. She reminded me of  this girl, Laura, who used to bully me a lot in high school.

"Well, we're going out if that's what you mean," I responded nervously. To be honest, I was a bit taken aback by the question. I mean, who asks stuff like that?

"You know what I meant," she snarled. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. I just stood there dumbfounded. "You're such a whore. Pathetic little Midnight finally lost her virginity and he threw it all away," she told me in fake sympathy. She looked at me with menacing green eyes.

"What-at do you mean?" I stammered, hoping I had heard her wrong. Ricky wouldn't hurt me, would he? He said he wasn't like my father and wouldn't hurt me like he did and I believed him.

"Your little boyfriend slept with my friend last night," she clarified. Deep down, I knew there was a huge percentage that she was lying, but I'm one of those people who always think the worst, so I believed her.

As I stood there speechless, she gave me a smirk and waltzed off obviously content with the damage she had inflicted on me. I suddenly felt hot tears well up in my eyes. She had to be lying right? Ricky wouldn't cheat in me. He couldn't have. Not now. Not when I thought I was falling in love with him. I broke out in a full sprint towards our bus. The last thing I needed to do was cry in front of everyone.

When I entered the bus, I looked myself in our small bathroom, ignoring the looks I got as I walked in. I think Jeremy asked asked what was wrong, but I ignored him. After the door was shut, I slid down to the floor and let the tears flow from my eyes. Why the hell had I listened to Jeremy? Why did I have to have feelings for Ricky? I knew this would just end up with me getting hurt and I let it happen anyway. I was an asshole. I was dumb. I did this to myself.

You're pathetic, a voice in my head snickered. You can't even get a boyfriend. Why would anyone want to be with you any way? I wanted to scream. I wanted to be to yell at myself. I just wanted this all to go away.

Suddenly, I stood  up from the cold tile ground and grabbed my makeup bag. I moved around the eyeliners and eyeshadows until I found what I was looking for. I pulled out a sharp metal object. I stared at it for a moment before moving aside my rubber bracelets. My tattoos his most of the cuts I had given myself now. I held the razor blade over my skin as if contemplating if I should really go through with this. Suddenly, I left the blade slide through my skin. The pain was immediately replaced with relief and I let a shaky sigh of relief escape my lips. I sliced the blade through my tattooed skin a few more times.

No one would even care if you killed yourself, the voice in my head shouted at me. I looked down at my bleeding forearm and agreed. No one would care. The band would find a new drummer, Ricky could sleep with who ever he wanted. I was replaceable.

"Midnight, you ok in there?" Jeremy's voice called out from the other side of the door. His voice brought me back to reality. Jeremy would miss me if I wasn't here. I was his best friend.

"Yeah," I lied with a sniffle. I grabbed a tissue and patted at my eyes careful not to smear my makeup and ran some water my fresh cuts.

"Don't lie to me," Jeremy ordered as he flung the door open. I had been so upset I had forgotten to lock it. I quickly tried to hide the cuts. Jeremy knew I used to cut myself, but he thought I had stopped.

"I thought you stopped," he exclaimed in shock. With that he enveloped me in a hug. Jeremy's hugs me feel a bit better.

"What happened?" Jeremy asked after a few moments of just me crying into his chest. It took me a few moments to calm myself down enough to where I could talk.

"This girl told me that Ricky cheated on me," I told him letting out a shaky sigh. It sounded so dumb saying it out loud, but it just felt like the one time I let someone in they let me down.

He looked down at me, anger filling his eyes. He quickly let me go and stormed out of the bus, no doubt looking to beat the shit out of Ricky. After waiting a moment, I followed him out of the bus I found him just in time to see him yelling at Ricky.

"Did you cheat on Midnight?" Jeremy asked in a roar. Ricky was outside of Motionless' bus talking and laughing with Chris, but his expression quickly changed when he saw Jeremy's anger.

"What? No! I wouldn't do that," Ricky responded, looking a bit shocked. I decided to looking a bit shocked. I decided to keep my distance and just hope that Jeremy would kill him.

"Then why is she in our bus crying her eyes out saying that some girl told her you cheated on her?" Jeremy yelled. I had never seen him so angry. He looked ready to tear Ricky's head off. I watched as Ricky's expression changed from confusion to sadness. He quickly pushed past Jeremy in the direction of our bus, but caught sight of me. He pulled me into a tight hug and for some reason, I didn't pull away for a few minutes. When I realized that I was suppose to be mad at him, I started to wriggle out of his arms and walk away.

"Midnight, can we please just talk about it?" he questioned, grabbing my wrist. I winced in pain as my rubber bracelets dug into my tattooed skin an tried to yank my arm away before he could question me. Of course, I wasn't quick enough. His face went back to looking confused and he pushed the bracelets aside, exposing my fresh cuts.

As soon as he saw them, he did something that surprised me. He didn't laugh at me or judge me or run away like I thought he was. He embraced me in another hug and the time I didn't pull away. “Why would you do that to yourself?” he questioned as he smoothed down my hair.

“I-I was upset and you didn’t hear what what that girl said,” I stammered as the girl’s voice echoed in my head. I always took thing too personally. I got upset way too easily and I just felt silly.

“I don’t care what she said. You’re beautiful and amazing and you shouldn’t let anyone tell you otherwise,” he told me, taking my head in his hands. I looked up at him in shock. No one had ever told me I was beautiful. Well, my mum used to, but she didn’t count.

“You-you think I’m beautiful?” I questioned, still in shock. I didn’t really think anyone could think I was beautiful. In my opinion, I was ugly. I didn’t understand how he could think differently.

“Of course, Midnight. You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, planting a kiss on my lips. “ And I didn’t cheat on you. I wouldn’t do that to you,” he added after he pulled away from the kiss. There was so much honesty in his eyes that I knew my original hunch that I had ignored about the girl lying was right.

“I’m sorry that I believed her,” I told him quietly. He pushed some of my hair behind my ear, his touch sending goosebumps over my skin.

“Promise me you will never hurt yourself again,” he said, holding out his pinky with a grin. I chuckled a bit, but linked my pinky in his.

“I promise, Ricky,” I responded. I rested my head on his chest and he snaked his arms around my waist. I felt him lay a kiss on the top of my head. Even if I did believe that he cheated on me, which was hard at that moment, I don’t think I would have necessarily cared. Everything felt so perfect; like nothing could get in the way of our happiness. I wished we could’ve stayed in that moment forever.