I Need To Be Loved (Ricky Horror Fan Fic) [Book #1]

Forgive The Unforgivable

"Midnight, what happened?" Ricky questioned, slowly entering the room. His tone and expression were illegible . He was good at hiding his emotions from me even after so long of knowing each other.

"Nothing. I'm fine. I don't want to see you," I responded stubbornly. I didn't even look at him. I couldn't. I was afraid I'd burst out in tears.

"You're in the hospital. You're not fine," he argued. Before I knew what was happening, Jeremy had taken Cameron from my arms and had placed her back in her carrier.

"I think Cameron and I'll go for a walk," Jeremy announced. I tried to send him a mental message begging him not to go, but of course I'm not a psychic, so he exited the room.

"Are you going to tell me what happened now?" Ricky asked, taking Jeremy's former seat. I crossed my arms over my chest childishly and looked away from him.

"You're sleeping around got me angry and I went through a stop sign," I scowled. He definitely had his nerve coming here and acting like he cared when it was obvious he didn't. If he cared, he wouldn't have cheated.

"Midnight, I'm sorry I was in such a band moos. I was...afraid about telling you what happened. I just...I don't want to lose you and I know I screwed up, but please just let me talk," he rambled. When I didn't say anything, he took it as a sign to keep going. "What I did was a mistake. If I could go back and stop myself, I would, but I can't. Midnight, I'm truly sorry. I love you, not her and I love our little family and I can't imagine life any other way," he apologized. Obviously, my stubbornness was not satisfied by his apology. Nothing he said was going to make me feel like I could forgive him.

"Well, you should've thought about that before you went around shoving you dick in some other girl," I scolded. It was harsh, but he deserved it. His actions were just as harsh as my words.

"Midnight, I seriously don't know what I would do if you left me. You and Cameron mean the world to me," he insisted. The tone of his voice was so...sincere. It was obvious he meant what he was saying, but I just couldn't forgive him so quickly. He broke my heart. He didn't deserve to be taken back.

"Ricky, it's just, what if this happens again? I don't wanna take the chance," I admitted. I seriously didn't think I could handle this pain again.

"If I ever fuck up again, you never have to talk to me again, but please. Just this one time. Forgive me. If I screw up again, I don't deserve to be taken back. Hell, I don't really deserve it now, but please, babe, please," he pleaded. I had been avoiding his gaze the whole time, but I let myself glance over at him for a split second. In that second, I saw so much pain in his blue eyes as they glistened with tears.

He looked so upset, so venerable, I had never seen him this way. His attitude had definitely changed since this morning. He was right; he didn't deserve to be taken back, but I had a weakness for those beautiful eyes. I loved him. If I didn't, he wouldn't be causing me so much pain; I wouldn't be contemplating what to do. He was the only person I had ever loved. He was the only person who ever put butterflies in my stomach. He was the only guy who had ever tried to understand me and break down my walls. I couldn't imagine living life without him and I wasn't read to let this, what we had, go. Even though there was a voice in the back of my head telling me he had broken me trust, that he had cut our relationship short by his desires, I could feel myself giving in.

"Please, babe, just trust me. I never want to hurt you like this again. You're all I ever wanted. I was being stupid last night. Please, just give me another chance," he practically begged, cutting into my thoughts. As much as I didn't want to accept his apology, as much as I wanted to tell him to go fuck off, I couldn't. Thinking about what we had, the love we shared, the daughter we had created, I could feel myself giving in. Cameron deserved parents who loved each other. I deserved to have someone to help me raise Cameron. If I made him leave without my forgiveness, who would benefit? Both him and I would be unhappy. We would be screwing Cameron out of a semi-normal life. No one won if we separated nit. Why did this seem so hard when the answer was right in front of me? Every sign was pointing to a road of forgiveness. When you love someone, you forgive them for what they do. It shouldn’t mater how terrible they act or how  bad they screw up. When you truly care for someone, you have to take hem for all they are. Not just the good things. You have to learn to accept their wrongs along with their rights. You have to trust that they regret what they did.

“Ricky…” I started out. I seriously had no idea what to say. “I need to be loved and you’re the only person I want to be loved be,” I confessed finally. The smile that formed on his face lit up the whole room. It was the smile I had come to love over the last year.

“Thank you, Midnight. I’m sorry,” he said before pulling me into a tight hug. I slowly hugged him back as I heard him whisper he was sorry about a million more times. “I love you so much,” he told me finally before pulling away from my embrace just enough to lay a kiss on my lips.

“I love you, too, Ricky,” I replied truthfully after pulling away. I had never meant a sentence more in my life. He was the only person I would ever love. Our love was one that wouldn’t break over night. No matter what, I loved him and I wasn’t going anywhere. It didn’t matter that he screwed up sometimes. He was my forever.