To Those Who Know Pain

Tip 06--poetryandpeace

Writing by @poetryandpeace:

“Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.

Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers

What's lurking at the back of your mind right now? Go on, think about it. What is sitting at the back of your head in those dark forbidden places? Is guilt hiding there or perhaps regret? Did something happen with you were younger? What's knocked your confidence? Whatever it is, don't let it hold you back from living life and from reaching your full potential.

Some people have kept things to themselves for many years and it ends up eating them up on the inside and they become bitter and unkind. Please don't let yourself become like that. If there is anything bothering you or pestering you, don't keep it to yourself. Talk to somebody you trust, perhaps a parent or a close trustworthy friend that you know will understand and not judge. It doesn't matter if you think the problem is small, it may not actually be and it could instead be something very serious indeed such as abuse that you have simply downplayed to yourself in order to cope with daily life. Weather it is to do with friends, family, abuse, drugs and alcohol; just please talk to somebody about it and get off your damn chest before it carves you into something that you are not.

A lot of people don't talk about their problems or feelings for many reasons. Some people feel like they will be criticised and judged and some genuinely don't have anybody to talk too (in that case, I suggest you find a local counsellor or therapist.) A lot of men, especially guys in their teenage years feel like they have to be all tough and strong in order to be attractive but that isn't true at all. It's actually the opposite. On a bit of a side note, girls don't tend to go for guys who seem cold and distant with no feelings or emotions. Girls want a guy who isn't afraid to admit that he night not be perfect and that he may be dealing with some tough stuff at the moment. Anyway, what I am trying to get across is that it is better to talk about your feelings  and problems now than have to deal with it a few years down the track where it may be even more harder to open up about it, especially if it's something serious such as the death of a loved one.

Many people don't believe that talking actually helps but it does. A problem shared is a problem halved is an accurate saying to how this works. Sharing a problem with somebody relieves a load off your shoulders and you don't feel so alone because there is now somebody who knows what is going on and can help you if need be. Counsellors are good to talk to, because they don't have any emotional ties or connections to you or the problem that you are talking about. It also pays to see things from a neutral perspective sometimes so you can see how others view the problem and what they believe can be done to solve or fix it.

I've heard countless stories of people who have had stuff happen to them when they were younger and they didn't talk to anybody about it and years later, they have done something extremely out of line or borderline crazy such as shooting up a school. Many criminals and undesirable people have had stuff happen in their past that they refuse to talk about and it ends up becoming too much for them, years later and they react completely out of hand with acts if violence or inflicting pain on others. Many sexual abusers were often abused themselves when they were children and they never told anybody, thus them being led to believe that it was morally acceptable to do this.