Story Ideas

Idea #16

*trigger warning (?)*
I don't actually know how to use these, but the content at be upsetting other readers.
Did I get it right?

***

"Here have a bite."
"I can't."
"Why, allergic?"
"Uh, yeah, you could say that."
"Now I know you're lying. I've seen you eat pizza before. What's actually wrong Olivia?" Jess, my best friend said, concern lacing her voice.

This is part where any normal person would breakdown and share their struggles, but who ever said i was normal? I looked her straight in her green eyes with the intention to finally be honest with her. But as usual, I resorted to lying through my teeth.

"Guilty. I'm just not hungry." I said trying to sound convincing. God knows how long I'd abused that excuse, I'm sure it wasn't believable anymore. But still prayed Jess would believe my crap.

"I know you're lying. You haven't eaten anything all day, so how?" Condescension was evident in her facial expression, eyebrow raised.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

"Ok, to prove that nothing is wrong, I'll eat the damn slice if pizza. I'm getting fat for you, I hope you know that's what true friendship means."

"As if, you're so skinny though. A slice of pizza won't hurt."

I gave her an uncomfortable smile as I began to slowly chew the pizza. As the intoxicating flavors filled my mouth and the contents seeped into my stomach, I began to realise what I was missing.  Damn, pizza tasted amazing. But it was thoughts like that that lead to all the weight gain. After two bites, I placed the half..quarter eaten slice back in the cardboard box.

"I think that's enough. I have to go to the bathroom." I got up and walked away, blatantly ignoring the disapproving glare from Jess. I'm sure she knew something was up.

As I closed the bathroom door behind me and looked at my reflection, I could already see the difference that the two bites had made. Feeling disgusted, I lowered myself to my knees and bent over the porcelain bowl. I stuck my fingers down my throat and well...said goodbye to the demon that food.

"Hey! Ollie, is everything okay, I hear gagging."

"I'm fine. Honest." I said and stood up.

I couldn't quite pinpoint the first-time I had decided it was okay to regurgitate my food, but it felt like a good idea.

All I ever wanted was a thigh gap, and visible collar bones, a flat stomach and with any luck, I would get to look somewhat beautiful. I wanted to stop, I didn't like the dead eyes looking back at me in the mirror, but I was close. I had to get to my goal. 99 pounds.

***
I can understand that this kinda blew a hell of a lot.
But the truth us, I just want a book to share an important theme in today's society - The pursuit of perfection. I myself have found myself in tricky situations and tough places. It's not an easy place to be in and I don't want people who are there to feel alone or judged or even segregated and forgotten. Eating disorders are real, and their dangerous, I'm just looking for someone to pick this (crap) prologue up and make something beautiful and enriching from it. 

No further details like my usual, I'm leaving that all to you :-)

Stay safe, and you're beautiful

Back to the thinking room
-M