Aethernea : Soulbound [Book 1]

Episode 34 - Sneaking About

Previously on Aethernea:

Kiel and Elaru went to sleep in the woods. When the morning of the exams arrived, Kiel was the first to wake up and realize that Elaru and he were again in an inappropriate position - Elaru was laying half on top of him.

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Kiel Rroda is a perfectly straight male (at least that's what he believed).

Even though he didn't feel an attraction towards the opposite sex at all, he felt even less of an attraction towards the same sex. So naturally, his conclusion was that he wasn't gay.

It might be that he didn't believe in love. He wasn't sure himself if he believed or not. While everyone preached about how much they were in love, all his eyes could see was a shallow physical attraction. People drowned themselves in lust and called it love.

It made his skin crawl.

Even those that did hold love in their hearts weren't really in love with the person in front of them – they were in love with their own internal image of them.

Those kind of people were even more pitiful. They weren't even aware that the object of their love was just a fantasy.

Kiel wouldn't let himself become entangled in romantic matters. He wanted nothing to do with it. He had better things to do in life. He just couldn't see a single benefit a significant other would bring him. He only saw drawbacks.

His heart didn't have room in it for anyone.

Maybe his opinion on romance would change if he had an opportunity to feel love or lust. But when he looked at all the women that wanted him, his heart didn't feel moved at all. All he felt was revulsion. No matter how beautiful they looked on the outside, it didn't make him feel an ounce of affection towards them. He didn't know them; he didn't want to know them.

Most of them hid their own ugliness under a beautiful mask. No matter how beautiful someone was on the outside, that which was inside caused all potential attraction to wither before it could even sprout.

How could he possibly be attracted to something that looked pretty on the outside but was full of disgusting things inside? How could he possibly want to have an intimate relationship with them?

Not attractive at all. Neither mentally nor physically. He had never felt a primal instinct to mate. And he was glad for that. He was perfectly in control of himself. Just the way he liked it.

Yet, the worst thing about it all was that he was exactly like them. He too looked beautiful on the outside, while the insides...didn't match.

Elaru Wayvin was like it too. She was beautiful on the outside, but he couldn't tell what ugliness hid beneath her skin.

Yet, why is it that when he looked at her, he didn't feel repulsed at all?

They fought all the time. He didn't like her at all. She could easily get under his skin, make his blood boil. And yet, even after all of that, he didn't hate her. Not really.

Being with her couldn't be called pleasant, but if he was forced to endure it for the rest of eternity, he didn't think it would be unbearable.

Perhaps, this was acceptance? Or maybe it was something else.

Whatever it was, it was illogical. It made absolutely no sense. Kiel couldn't make heads or tails out of it.

So he just decided not to think about it at all.