She Follows the Birds to Freedom

My State of Being Right Now

It's not that I believe that I'm hopeless,
It's not that I believe that I'm worthless,
It's not that I believe that I have no purpose,
It more that I'm afraid of going after it,
The better, the beautiful,
the greener side that is actually greener
and not filled with insecticide.
It's not that I believe that I'm hopeless, although maybe I should,
maybe that would drive me to go
and find some hope.
I believe in God,
but sometimes it's really hard to believe
that he believes in me.
I know a lot of things,
but I don't feel half of them.
I know that I am loved,
but people's love scares me more that anything, because I have let them down
and they don't even know it,
and it makes me wonder if I love truly them.
Or is this terror that I feel just a sign
that I love them so much that I am terrified
to let them know that I have failed them.
I am still trying to figure it out,
trying to find my wings,
trying to mend my own brokenness,
Trying to find a way to let this all go,
But I don't know.
It's not that I'm scared of change,
I'm more scared of what's on the other side and I don't know if I have the strength to get there without some help.
My wish is that I find someone
who would be willing to go with me,
to make the journey worth it.
To take this pain and hurl it
over the precipice that I stand on.
The one to give all they have to make me believe when I think I'm too far gone.
I've prayed for the person,
I don't know who they are,
But maybe they are slowly tripping through life and will land in my heart,
and if and when they do I pray
I won't pass them by with out recognizing
that they are coming apart.
I don't want a person that will fix me,
I want a person that will sit and listen,
stop and stare and figure out that
despite what I say I am not ok.
I want someone who will walk with me
and figure out life with me.
For I know there is no such thing
as fixing someone,
But there is definitely a thing as
mending with someone,
Cause we are all broken.
And if we are not then we will be,
it is the inevitable, the unavoidable.
So the mission to find someone to
walk crooked with join broken hands and live.
SK

A/N: This is not one of my best, I know so I'll applaud you if you make it to the end. I'll try to do better next time!
BTW, if you have any topic suggestion of what I can write a poem on, tell me and I'll dedicate the poem to you.