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Have you ever been so afraid of regret
that you regret it?
Have you ever feared living so much
that you cannot be in it?
Ever dreaded the morning and window
that it comes through,
because it reminds you that, yes,
today is a new and you are not.
Ever wished for change
and avoided it at the same time?
Like waking up to find that nothing is out of place, but everything has changed.
Sometimes I wonder what change actually is, and how it manages to manifest itself in everything,
a trail of promises and unfulfilled dreams
in its wake as it takes life by the shoulders
and gives it a shake.
How we never learn to accept it,
or learn from it,
how it always take us by surprise,
how it never happens the same way twice.
Have you ever wished you could go back, wished you had done things differently, wondered how that would have changed,
there that word is again,
the right now?
If you could have been happier,
or if it would have even mattered.
If instead of having your tears
splattered all over these pages,
you could have kept them for better occasions.
Those questions that I asked before,
I am all of them and more.
Waiting for the answers
I'm sure I'll never get,
and wishing that I never had to ask them
in the first place.
SK

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