She Follows the Birds to Freedom

Feelings on the End of the World

I have mixed feelings about the end of the world.

Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind it.

Other times I panic at the thought of it ending with me still here.

Other times I think I'm really selfish.

For right now somewhere else, someone's world is ending

and here I am wondering what it would be like.

I am thinking about it with morbid fascination,

what will it look like, how long will I last before I reach my own judgment.  

Every thought is about my own well-being and not 

the fact that someone's world just came to an end

and yet they have to live with the horror that they are still here.

Without the person that made breathing worth it,

without the home that gave them such joy,

without the child that made happiness tangible,

without the assurance that everything is going to be okay.

Because if I really lived like I thought the world was going to end,

perhaps I would be an entirely different person who lived like she wanted to be here.

Who fought like she was glad to be breathing,

maybe I would realize that some of my troubles are terribly insignificant,

and maybe I would learn to be happy with what I have.

It is funny how something like the end of the world is so abstract

and yet it puts things into the brightest light of reality.

It is also funny how we like to ignore our feelings

about the end of the world and craft statements of neutrality

that we somehow think will exempt us from what is coming.

I am scared of it all ending, not because this world is so great,

but because this messed up, broken world is all I know

and the only place I feel comfortable in.

And that thought makes me sad.

SK

A/N: Leave a comment and let me know what you think!