I Will Never Forget Him

The Day I Grew Up

It started out as a normal day. I was heading to the park to play ball with my new friends. I'd been having a pretty good day, so far. When I got to the park, they greeted me and we began our usual ritual. It was a pretty intense game and then lover-boy had to go home to eat lunch exactly at twelve. Typical. When he'd gone out of view, I turned and awkwardly stared at the other two boys. We hadn't really spent anytime alone; it was a bit weird.

"So," asked one boy. "Are you and him like best friends now?"

"No, not really." I said as a blush rose in my cheeks. Every time someone brought him up, my stomach would form knots and my cheeks would get all pink. From there, we began to make small talk. I don't remember of what but I probably didn't give a shit anyway; my mind was always on him. Then the same boy asked me a very personal question and to this day I wonder if things would be different if I hadn't told him the truth.

"So, do you have a crush on anybody?" he asked. The question caught me off guard and for a couple of seconds I just stood, staring at the cement. "Should I tell them?" "If I do, will they tell him?" "Can I trust them?" all these questions ran through my head and then they stopped. See, back then I never thought of the consequences of telling someone so personal but ever since that day, I have never been that open with anyone.

"Come on, tell us. I want to know." said the other younger boy I was playing with. He wasn't a regular at the court but when he did come, he sure was annoying.

"OK, but you have to promise not to tell anyone." I said staring both of them in the eye. The two boys nodded and eyed me like a hawk."Thank heavens he's gone." I had muttered to myself but it must of been louder than I intended.

"Holy shit, it is him! Are you serious?" asked the older boy. He and his friend began to laugh as the pieced things together and I began to get nervous.

"You can't tell him though, you promised." I reminded them.

"I know. It's just, why him?" He asked. I rolled my eyes and began to describe everything I liked about him. His hazel eye's, his brown, naturally highlighted hair and his ability to make me laugh. As I stood there, stuck in my fantasy, the two boys just laughed.

"Wow OK. Last time I listen to a girl." the younger boy remarked.

"Shh, here he comes." a hushed voice whispered. I didn't know who said it because I'd caught sight of him from the corner of my eye. He walked nonchalantly through the grass, making his way back to us. I tried to compose myself and waved as he approached

"Hey, you guys actually waited." he said.

"Of course." I responded.

"So what were you guys talking about. I saw you laughing as I was walking." I'd instantly froze. What could I to say?

"Just stuff,"

"Yeah, just basket ball stuff man." The oldest boy and I mumbled excuses and random things when all of a sudden the annoying kid spoke.

"She likes you." Not knowing what to do, I'd gone into denial.

"What, no I don't. Why would you say that?"

"Yes you do, you just told us." That lanky jerk must've figured he'd help ruin my life.  

In that moment I felt everything shatter. All my hope and trust I gave to these two was washed away. Not knowing what to do, I looked to the one person who I thought cared about me. I looked for anything, a smile, a laugh, maybe annoyance but I saw nothing. He gave me nothing; he just stood there. In that moment, I knew he didn't like me at all. His inability to move gave me the chance to run. While those traitors laughed, I rushed away with tears in my eyes. As I quickly walked home, I looked back one more time to see him standing there, surrounded by those two jerks, with a face of stone. That only made me cry more and as soon as I got home I went to my room and laid on my bed sobbing.

"It hurts so much." I said in a whisper as I clutched my heart. Something had snapped, I could physically feel the pain.

I laid there, tears caked onto my cheeks and I remember wishing for that  awful pain to go away. That was the first day I felt my heart break for the first time, the first day that I learned I could never trust anyone again, the day I started to hate myself and the day that I developed my shell. The shell that no man has ever even tried to break. I still have it actually; it doesn't even have a crack in it. But if you think this is the end of my story, you're dead wrong. This was just the beginning; the pain gets worse as the years go on.