I Will Never Forget Him

Isolation

For the rest of that summer, I remained in my house, in my backyard, and at my grandparent's house. I didn't do much at all, I was too busy trying to fix myself. I stopped trying to make friends, stopped trying to impress people, stopped trying so hard all together.

I was broken. 

I barely spoke, telling everyone that I was just simply, tired. I began to build up a wall. If it were a real one, I'd probably be made out of stone and steel. I began to look at my flaws; how fat I was, how my hair was dry and puffy and how ugly my face was. The only thing good that came out of my isolation was my new found love for books. With nothing to do, I'd spend hours with my head shoved in a book, wishing, dreaming that I would have a happily ever after like the characters in them.

Soon, summer came to a screeching halt and I was to start my first year in middle school. Nervous isn't even a good enough word to describe how I felt about the whole thing. First off, there would be so many other kids there and second, him. But I had worried myself sick for nothing because I had absolutely no classes with him my sixth grade year.

The middle school had houses; House A, House B and House C. I was in C and he in A. In these houses, you had your core classes; English, Math, Social Studies and Science. For gym and all that other good stuff, you went out of house.

For the whole year, I tried staying low and keeping to myself. But I'd somehow  managed to find a new friend. Her name was Kalyn and she was one of the first people who helped me open up. She was kind and funny and she was my best friend. That year in school, I tried to have fun and make friends. I actually tried to live and then I saw him.

It was an innocent trip that Kalyn and I took from House C to A. All we had to do was ask the math teacher in  a quick question, just a simple yes or no. As we approached the class, Kalyn and I were laughing at God knows what and then when we knocked on door. When we entered, all I saw was him. My friend's words were just faint whispers as we looked at each other. I quickly looked away but the corner of my eye I could see that he never took his eye's off of me. 

As the two of us left, all I could feel was the numbness; I felt empty.

"Jessica, are you OK?" she asked, looking at me with concern.

"It's nothing, I'm fine." I responded tastelessly. But it was far from nothing. At the time, I thought that I'd just be able to move on from him, seeing as I never saw him. In my second year of middle school though, my life become an actual living hell.