I Will Never Forget Him

It's Finally Over

My name is Jessica. I will be eighteen years old in two weeks. I graduated high school with highest honors. I was inducted into the Rhode Island Honors Society and the Portuguese Honors Society. I'm a smart girl. So why the hell did it take me so long to realize that I never needed him? 

The love I'd felt towards him as a child is completely gone. It took me years to realize that I was a fool. But I've learned and things are simpler now. 

I no longer look at his house as I walk or drive by, hoping he's outside. I no longer click on his name when he pops up in my news feed. Hell, I don't even look at what he posts anymore. The obsession I held onto for all these years has disappeared. I've gone through so much personal growth the past two years and it's made me realize that, whether he had any attraction towards me or not, I don't need him. 

The last time I laid eyes on him was at graduation. He wore his red gown, all his cords hanging around his neck, hair in a man bun. I was proud. Not for him but for me and how far I'd come. I watched the back of his head the whole ceremony, watched him cross the stage and all his buddies yell out his name. Then, when it came time for my row to stand, I waited patiently. When my name was finally called, I crossed that stage. As I received my diploma, I looked to him. He was in the front row. 

  He wasn't even looking at me, instead having a conversation with his friend. I smiled the widest smile in the world because I killed two birds with on stone in that moment. I had made it through high school and I finally realized that's I'd never meant anything to him. And it made me absolutely, unbelievably...

Happy.

He no longer clouds my thoughts. I have my memories but I mostly just laugh at them now. I don't care about him anymore and I love it. Honestly, I'm thankful he broke my heart because I've learned so much. And the fact that he doesn't even know he did it, cracks me up. 

I'm ready for my future, my happily ever after because I've learned you don't need a prince to make you happy. You need a college education, good family and friends, and money. As an eleven year old girl, a boy may have been the answer to my loneliness but I don't need a man to complete me. I've learned it's ok to be perfectly incomplete.

So to my readers, as I end this story, not what you were expecting, was it? You might have thought that after all this heart ache, he'd realized he loved me all along and wanted to spend the next chapter of our lives together. Well you were wrong. I didn't get him and I never really wanted. I ended up with a cold, dead heart at first but it warmed as I realized my worth. I ended up with questions that have no answers but mysteries have always been my favorite. I ended up in more pain than ever before but I healed. 

So, my dears, this is officially the end.  I hear by declare this story completed. I told you my story. What's yours?