In Debt

{33}

You ever think about the world?

How it came to be? If there is really is a god. Or according to scientific research us humans were born as monkeys or apes.

I wonder if our world even really exists. Or if we all are just a part of someone's imagination or creation. I think about "God" sometimes, and tend to wonder if he really created this world then why did he put bad things in it. I don't know what God is or how he came to be. I just remember one memory of my mother showing me a brown leather book with the label, "The Bible".

I never asked what kind of book it was or why she had it. It was torn and had missing papers and was barely held together. She said a few words to me, something along the lines like Jehovah or God but I never understood what it really meant.

I guess God is a religion belief. He created the world. He created the humans. He created animals, he created everything. Well he is real to some, but my mother stopped believing in him when vampires were exposed.

It was on the news. Everywhere. Every build board, every newspaper, every phone.

When I was born I didn't notice anything or question why we weren't allowed to go outside at night. Or why my mom hide me and her in multiple places. We would travel in the day time, me always tucked in her backpack and we would go everywhere. Of course at a young age I never knew why we always moved to different places or never stayed anywhere near the city.

It was when I was able to walk and run on my own that I would pay attention more often. Like how where ever we go, people would be scavenging for food.

Everyone was alone.

It was when I was six I learned of what was going on. I learned a hard way of why we lived the way we did and why the world was chaotic.

I rememberd me and mom going somewhere. It was dark, and the wind tugged onto my face making my cheeks turn pink. It must have been close to midnight, because you could hardly see anything.

I stayed quiet knowing my mom would scold me for speaking. One rule she made was to never talk at night or someone would hear us. I desperately wanted to ask my mom where we were going and she would look at me giving me a pointed look.

I remember my tattered shoes walking across the street. Wrappers sprung everywhere and the smell of garbage was light in the air.

My mom tugged on my hand making me go faster until we stopped in front of a house. It was a simple house with dead grass and trees in the front. She smiled at the house and picked me up walking to the door and knocked in a rhythm before entering. It was warm inside compared to the cold night and I held onto my teddy bear.

The ear was ripped and it didn't really have that much fur inside but it was the closest thing I had to a friend. My mom confidently walked further in the home, a light jump in her steps. Pictures and frames covered the walls of my mom and a man. One of them was of them kissing and I couldn't understand what was going on.

My mom turned the corner and entered the living room and by the fireplace stood a man. He was a light brown skinned and I could only see his shadow as it danced on the wall. The sizzles of the wood was the only sound heard as the man stared at mom before walking and picking her up. They kissed, and if I recall that was the one time I think I knew what love was.

They clung to each other and looked in one another's eyes. It seemed like their eyes shined in dimmed room. I stood there not knowing what to do. I didn't know this man, and mother never told me anything.

I clutched my teddy bear tighter to me, my hair falling into my face.

"Mommy I want-want to go home."