Josh's POV
Ever since that phone call Rebecca got in June, she's been getting worse by the day. Officially and thankfully she is cancer free. Her hair is growing back, but she still feels down about her once long beautiful hair. She's finished her chemotherapy and is on the road to recovery.
August is coming up and it's been hard for Rebecca and I. Amber was supposed to start school this year. We've been getting calls about it and papers about what she would have needed. Rebecca sees it and would just start bawling. And I couldn't help her.
Sometimes she wouldn't get out of bed. She'd skip meals, not shower for days. Anything I did wasn't enough to comfort her. She's my daughter too; I raised her. But Rebecca refuses to move on. She mourns the loss of her daughter every day.
"Reb?" I whispered. I knocked on the bedroom door gently. She was curled up in the middle of the bed, her body covered by the many blankets. I sat by her side. "What do you want for lunch?" She was either asleep or pretending to be.
"I don't care," she muttered after a few moments. "I'm not hungry." I ran my fingers down her delicate skin. She glanced at me for a moment before looking away again. My heart sank in disappointment.
"You didn't care last time and ended up not eating. You know you need to eat."
"I don't want to eat."
"What do you want to do then? Bake? Watch me bake so you can tell me what to do so I don't mess up? You know you can't stay in bed forever." She looked at me with sad eyes. "Princess, please. You need to get better."
"I can try and stay here," Rebecca whispered. I kissed her between her eyebrows. "I'm sorry for being so difficult."
"I don't blame you," I told her. I laid down next to her. She slowly wrapped her weak arms around me. She's lost so much weight; it makes me sick with worry. I pulled her closer to me. She hesitated to snuggle by my side.
"You know you can let your hair grow out if you want," she whispered suddenly. I pressed my lips to her cheek. She sighed in response.
"I'll let it grow out when I choose to." She curled her body against mine. I let her sleep safely in my arms. She spends a significant portion of the day in bed, but she still doesn't get enough sleep. She either gets nightmares or dreams about Amber which brings her to tears either way.
I listened to her small breaths. I wanted nothing more than to live with her for the rest of my life. But I knew she would never think that far ahead with Amber still missing. That phone call gave her hopes that the police could track Richard down, but it was a dead end. But maybe tonight, if I just ask her one question, then maybe she could be happy. With the ring I had in my pocket, then maybe she'll see that we have something to live for even if Amber has yet to return to us.
Without realizing it, I began crying. I miss playing dress up with Amber. I miss her painting my nails with multiple colors. I miss her jumping on our bed, forcing us to wake up. I miss signing with her so we could improve our skills. I miss the times I would bring her on stage with me and how she'd be so excited instead of scared. I miss the times we could all be in bed watching TV and eating junk food without a care in the world.
But most of all, I miss how happy we used to be. When I had never seen Rebecca yell at anyone. When Rebecca never yelled at me. When she hated raising her voice to make a point. When she cried the one time she yelled at Amber by mistake and swore to never yell at her again. And now it seems all we do is fight. Over small things, it would drive her insane, and she'd start shouting at me before breaking down into tears. Half the time it wasn't directed at me, but I still witnessed it.
