The most

Ghetto Church Life

Sunday morning. The only day of the week when I actually get dressed up.

After granny and I arrived we took our usual seats in the pews. I crossed my arms and patiently waited to be bombarded with statements like "look how much you've grown," "you look just like your mom," "you are so talented just like your father."

Statements I've heard a billion times before.

After speaking with a few people and listening to the horrid selection, the pastor informed us that it was time to preach.

"Have y'all ever been accused of something you haven't done" pastor asked, you could heard the congregation murmur an agreement.

"Like last week for example, my baby mama and I were smoking broccoli. She sold me out to the police and told them I was selling and illegally buying. Even though we're both know I grew that shit naturally." Pastor said and shook his head while the crowd booed.

"Don't ever let anyone lie on you, and if they do beat they ass. That was quoted directly from the lord."

The fuck?

"She sent my ass to jail but my buddy Tyrone broke me out and jump her homeboy Tréshawn."

Ugh I hate church.