Obsession

chapter 6: no room for anything but saddness.

When i got home my stomach felt like shit and i thought my head was going to explode. All i wanted was to go to bed and never wake up. But unfortunately i figured my dear mother would have other plans.

"Where the fuck have you been? You said you'd be home by 10:30, you're an hour late."

"I. I know mom. I fell asleep and woke up with a really bad headache. I didn't realize the time. Im sorry."

She stared at me for a few moments, and i thought i saw something...guilt? No. Remorse. "Take something for it then get your sorry ass off to bed. Don't be late again." She turned her back to me then went to her bedroom.

I was thankful she did not beat me again. I didn't think i could take another beating. I walked into the kitchen and opened one of the cabinets. I took the pain relievers out and decided to take five instead of just two and prayed they would work. After that i went and sat in the bathroom afraid i was going to be sick at any moment.

As i sat there on the floor i looked at my cuts. They were already turning to scars and fading, that made me sad. How worthless i was. No use to anyone. No one ever seemed to care much but my freinds. Tristan was always so nice but now...i still couldn't figure out if tonight was supposed to hurt me or not. If it were supposed to it deffinitly worked. In the end though i did get a hug. Something I'd wanted for so long.

I finally felt well enough to go into my room about an hour and a half later. I sunk into my bead immediately, my heart heavy and my eyes wet, and fell asleep.
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The next morning i felt like i was hungover. It was awful. I could barely drag myself out of bed and once i got up i felt sick again. My head was spinning and i could barely walk straight.

I got dressed then sat back down on my bed. I really didn't want to move at all. I ran my hands though my hair. It was a mess and felt greesy from sweet.

"Aaron!" My mother yelled. "Could you please get your fucking self down here right now."

Please not another beating. Please. I said over and over in my head as i made my way slowly down the stairs. I didn't know if i could deal with her anger issues right now. I already felt horible. My mom was not in the living room so i ventured into the kitchen and that's were she was. With Maya.

"God Aaron you look horible!" Maya said.

I didn't say anything in return. If j were in trouble it was most likely he fault. She's always had it in for me. I had no idea why. But the times i had gotten in trouble was from her.

"Aaron." My mom said agitated. "Is this yours?" She asked holding up a little black notebook. My journal. Oh god. I was dead. My mother saw the fear in my eyes and spat ay me.

"You horrid thing. You wrote this shit!" She said slamming the book down in front of me. It was open to a page i had written weeks earlier. About Tristan. "Maya really was right the other day. You disgust me Aaron. You sick son of a bitch. Do you think he's ever going to love you back?" She laughed at me. "Never. Right? He ain't never gonna love you back. No one is."

All i could do was stare at my mother. I wished her dead. She hated me and i hated her. So i grabbed my book from her and started walking away. Back up to my room.

"Hey did i say i was done with you. Get your ass back over her."

"No." I said and walked up the stairs and into my bedroom. I locked it behind me then grabbed one of my garbage bags and started filling it with some clothes and things i needed.

I called Shane. "Hello."

"Hey Shane. I uh was wondering if maybe i could stay at your place for a few nights."

"Uh sure. Did something happen?"

"Um I'll explain later i just. Im leaving here and need a place to crash for a while."

"Okay. Well I think it would be fine for you to stay here. I dont think my parents would mind. You want me to come pick you up?"

"If you could."

"Yeah sure. When?"

"Um twenty minutes or so. I just need a little time to grabe a few more of my things."

"Okay I'll see you then."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Your welcome."

He hung up and i began going through some of my stuff. Just taking what i would need. I had to get some of my thibgs from the bathroom. I opened the door and looked around i could here everyone down stairs. I didn't know if my mom was still here or not though. I hoped not.

I walked into the bathroom and grabbed my razor, toothbrush, toothpaste, a brush, and a few other things. Then i went back into my room and dropped the stuff into a backpack.

"What do you think your doing?" My mother asked from my door way. Fuck.

"Im leaving."

She laughed as if it were the funniest thing anyone had ever said to her. "Like hell you are."

"I am. And your not going to stop me"

"Ill call the cops."

"Im old enough to leave they cant stop me plus call then and ill show all the bruises you've left."

She sneared at me. "You little bitch."

"No mom your the bitch!" I yelled. "The only reason you want me here os so ill take care of your kids for you. Well guess what your going to have to take care of them now cause im gone."

She was fuming. "You dont think i can take care of my own kids."

"No. I dont. All you ever do if give excuses to fuck with your play boys and be a slut."

"How dare you!" She said angery. She walked over to me. "Disrespectful bastard."

I didn't even care anymore if she beat me i was going to have my say and i was going to leave. "How dare i? You just can't face the truth. You've never been a real mom and you've never showed any real care cause you always to busy banging your doy toys. And the money you make with that? You drink away and slend on yourself."

She slaped my face. The grabbed my hair and punched my check then my eye the my stomach. I struggled against her and finally threw her off. I grabbed my backpack and bolted. I would have to leave the rest.

Luckily she didn't come after me. I saw my siblings as i felt the house. I felt bad for them. But i couldn't stay in this place anymore. I was the only one she ever beat so hopefully she wouldn't do it to anyone else once i was gone.

Maybe she would be somewhat of a mom now that i was gone. I doubted it though.