Trying To Stop Dreaming (Niall Horan)

Regret. We All Have It...

I grad the small yet sharp cold metal and let a silent tear fall down my face. I didn't think I would ever see it again. But I hate talking about my feelings so what else should I do? Holding it in drives me crazy. But again, what else to do? I sit on the edge of my bathtub and bring the razor up to my skin. I mentally thank myself that's it winter and I have a reason to wear long sleeve shirts; not to only hide my maybe soon to be scars but to keep me warm. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. BAM im crying like theres no tomorrow and I freak out over the red liquid thats dripping of off my skin at this moment in time.

"Why?!" I yell multiple times. I stop because I dont want to wake up my friends. "Attie?! What are you doing?!" I hear Noahs voice yell through my door. Crap I forgot he was up! My mind starts to think of the many excuses to make him go away. "Attie answer me!!" He yells abd bangs on the door. I rinse off my arm quickly.  "Hold on! Washing my hands!" I yell and wipe off my arm and open up my laundry basket. I put a long sleeve shirt in there earlier. I slipped my shirt off and put the other one on.

"Attie!" I hear two voices now! I was still moving at a quick pace to make everything look normal. They kept banging on the door.  I pulled the piece of the wall out and put the razor in it and sealed it back together.  "Attie!" I was getting annoyed with them yelling my name. I turned the water off. My cuts weren't bad, you could see them. I put concealer on them and ignored the sting that came with it. I opened the door and saw Liam and Noah at the door.

"What?!" I say, irritated.  "What were you doing in there?" Noah says. He sounded like Nate. "Well do you really wanna know?" I raise and eye brow. "Yes." he says and copies my actions.  "I was going to the bathroom." I say and Liam seems to look straight through my lie. "And what else? You were in there longer than just using the bathroom." he says and searches the bathroom for any sign of blood or a razor. "Well I was crying to myself and didn't want to get up." I say, it was partially true. Liam still didn't look convinced but it did the trick for Noah.

"Don't scare me like that." Noah says and hugs me. I hug him back and looked at Liam. He looked worried. "Im fine." I mouth to the boy. He nods his head and walks out of my room. Noah pulls from the hug and just stands there. I don't look at him, I just stare at the floor. "Me and Liam are going out. Stay safe." he says and I nod my head. He walks out and closes the door. I feel the darkness cloud over me.

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you are worthless no one will ever care. Die. Kill yourself. Haha like they will care. Die. Die. Die. Im gonna kill you, Attalina. I felt myself go limp. Wake up. so you wouldn't mind me killing you would you?  I layed there moitionless. The figure came closer to me every time I took a breath. Next thing I know now I felt the sharp pain of a knife being stabbed into my chest. Wake up now. I thought. Die. Die. the figure yelled and then started to suffocate me. I felt the last bit of air I had leave my body. I tried to scream for help but nothing came out of my mouth.

"ATTALINA!" a voice yells. I heard them but couldn't move. "Attie? Wake up." they said this time in a softer voice. I felt the pain in my chest and started to cry. k realized that the thing that killed me or tried to was Nate. That made me cry harder. "Attie you have to breathe." the voice says and I didnt recognize the voice. I slowly lif my eyes and see that im in a white room. I didn't know that I was even holding my breath until they told me. I started to breath and my vision cleared. I was in the hostpital.

"Where-am-i?" I said inbetween breaths. "Honey you are in the hospital." the nurse says. "Why?" I ask and see 5 people sitting next to eachother. "Well, you passed out and hit your head really hard. Then you woke up and were delusional. Your friends here took you here where you fell asleep and seemed to have a nightmare." she says and smiles at my friends. "They are good friends you have there." she says and checks something off on here paper.

"They are my friends?" I say and her eyes go wide. "Yes sweety they are. Do you not remeber them?" she says and seems worried. "Nope. Should I?" I ask and start to get worried too. "Ill be right back." she says and walks out of the room. Right then a brown haired boy and a blonde haired girl wake up. "Attie!"they both yell. That alone made my head want to explode.  It hurt like hell. I flinched in pain and they both quiet down. "Who are you?" I ask calmly and their eyes go wide. "Do you not remember us?" The blonde girl asks quietly.  "No." I say and she starts to cry.

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hey I updated! Hope you liked it!