Fill In The Blank

Eighteen (II)

A knock on the door. Jakob glanced up, expecting his roommate, Avery, to get it. Sighing when he remembered that Avery was home for the weekend, he turned his head back to the receiver. "Listen, Jamal, I'll talk to you later on. I have company, I guess."

"Okay, Jakey. Bye, babe."

Jakob, flushed a bright red, threw his phone onto his desk. He shakes his head to clear it, then throws open the door.

"Let me explain," Remi blurted. Jakob was tempted to slam the door in his face.

Instead, he leaned against the doorframe with folded arms. "I'm listening."

Remi, hands anxiously crawling in and out of his pockets, took a deep breath. "Okay. I panicked. I was gonna introduce you as my... Boyfriend. Really, I was, but I got last minute jitters, and I'm sorry..."

Jakob sighed. "Why did you panic? Did it have something to do with that Alaina chick?"

"Her name is Alice, first off. And secondly, no. She was just there, alright?"

Smiling softly, sadly, Jakob shook his head. "Rem, I know you. Better than anyone, I know you. Whether you know it or not, you were definitely flirting with her a little bit. And you definitely didn't want her to get the impression that we're more than friends." He stepped away from the doorway, turning and walking further into the room. "It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together."

"I wasn't..." It was a weak protest, dying on Remi's tongue before it made it's way out of his mouth. He knew it was a bit of a lie. "Even if I was, I don't understand why you're so upset."

Jakob rolled his eyes, scoffing. "Really? How about the time we agreed that we're boyfriends, meaning that you don't get to flirt around? Or maybe the fact that you promised that we could come out once we started college? You promised, Rem." He sat at his desk, picking at a splinter on the chair absently. "I'm not saying that you aren't right to be scared. Of course you're scared. But, are we ever gonna do something about this? It's been two years."

Remi closed the door behind him gently, sat down on the floor with crossed legs. He buried his face in his big hands, muffling his words. "I don't know. But, I have something to tell you. As my boyfriend, you aren't gonna want to hear this, but, as my best friend, I need to tell you." He glanced up at Jakob. "Can I talk to my best friend for a minute?"

Jakob nodded cautiously, distrustful eyes scanning his boyfriend. "Okay. I guess."

Remi nodded, then hid his face again, scrubbing it with his palms. "I kissed Alice."

A short, fiery silence lapped at Remi's heels. Jakob swallowed roughly, squeezed his knees. "Oh." He stared at his faded jeans, eyes welling up, biting his lower lip. "How was it, then?"

Remi looked up a little bit, not high enough to see above Jakob's shoes. "It was alright, I suppose. Nice. Other people think we're dating now, I guess."

Jakob blinked, feeling as though a cotton ball was stuck in his throat. "Do you want me to be one of those people?" He hated how watery his voice sounded, as though all of the unshed tears inside him had built up and clogged his voice box.

"Jake, it's not personal. I-"

"You what, Remi? It's not personal? Of course it's personal! You're my boyfriend." A pause. "Or, you were my boyfriend. I don't even know what we are anymore." Jakob ran his hands through his hair. His phone buzzed, and he knew that it was Jamal. He didn't pick it up. "Are we breaking up?"

Remi sighed, playing with a ring on his middle finger. "We don't have to be breaking up. We can still be together-"

"While you fake date some chick? Who, by the way, thinks you're straight and totally into her? I don't think so."

"Then I guess this is it."

Jakob looked at Remi, did a double take. "Seriously? That's how this is gonna be? You'd rather break up with me than come out to this college campus?"

Remi shrugged, trying to look unaffected. "If that's the ultimatum, then, yes."

Jakob didn't say anything for a moment, just stared at his shoes, blonde hair hiding his eyes. "Get out."

"What?"

Jakob whipped his head up, eyes red and full with tears. "I said, get out! Don't talk to me right now. I just can't, Remi. Go."

Remi sulked out of the room, risked a glance over his shoulder. Jakob slammed the door shut in his face, locking it behind him. He sulked to the bed, layed across it, and sobbed.

Jamal texted again.

From: Jamal

Hey, wanna go out tonight? I know a great bar. Quiet, not too rowdy. It'll be fun...

Jakob wiped his eyes. This isn't the first time that Remi has hurt him, and it definitely won't be the last. He could use some fun, and some alcohol, just to take the edge off. He texts Jamal back asking to be picked up around eight.

The night goes by in a spastic blur. Jakob forgets to think of Remi at all between sips of whiskey and trips to the dance floor. The next day, Jakob feels fully equipped to move on from the sadness. Jamal holds his hand in the library the next day. Remi pretends it doesn't hurt him.

A/N:
This is one of those chapters that I rewrote three times, hated, completely redid, and still sorta wasn't satisfied. It's too short, and it's not my best. I'm really sorry. I was gonna have them make up here, but it just wasn't coming out right. Have a messy drama chapter instead aha. Next chapter should be quite interesting, though... And hopefully much better written.

Thanks for reading! Vote and comment if you feel the urge! Love y'all!