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how to be ungrateful, act like me :)
i live a nice life and I get most of the things that I want. I got a MacBook, got to see my favourite bands live, got accepted in my dream school, amazing vacations, no money troubles but I'm still sitting in my hotel room in the Bahamas trying to convince myself that I shouldn't die. I hate myself for this. It keeps me from enjoying anything. I can't enjoy being at the beach because I keep wondering if I should try and drown myself, I can't enjoy a meal in a restaurant because food scares me, I just can't do anything without it being spoiled by my stupid thoughts (or "dark thoughts" as my psychologist calls them). it wouldn't be a big problem if it only ruined my vacations but it affects the people I am with. they have to deal with a someone who doesn't want to go out, eat or talk and basically just wants to stay in bed even while they're in one of the most beautiful place on earth. I'm so sorry. I sometimes wish I could change but I sometimes wish I could just die and let you live the life you deserve.

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