Reunited: A Bensler/SVU fanfic

Chapter 3

 I drove upstate with the radio off, and my thoughts were so loud they sounded like they were coming out of the speakers. I lost track of time and before I know it I'm parking my car across from Elliot's beautiful house in the country.

I notice theres only one car in the drive way and I wonder what that means. I wonder if Kathy still lives with him, and if they're together. I breathe deeply, open my car door, and walk across the street, up his lawn and to his beautiful front door. I lift my hand to knock and it hit me that I couldn't do this. I just couldn't. It hurt too much to have to face him again after everything.

I turn around and pace the front porch, hating how weak he makes me feel. You, Olivia Benson, need to do this for the girls that some psycho is killing. Put your personal feelings to the side. I turn back towards the door and I bring up my hand to knock, right as I'm inches away from making contact with the door my nerves take over my body and a rush of nausea overtakes me.

Not wanting to throw up on his front porch, I was about to turn away and go onto the grass, Elliot emerged from a closed door inside the house wearing only a towel and I felt a moan escape my lips and the nausea faded. He looks just as good as he did the last time I saw him and I wonder if he thinks the same about me. Then, he stopped in his tracks and looked like he'd seen a ghost. His face was white as he slowly walked towards his huge glass front door and opened it.

"Liv?" He looked as sick as I felt moments ago.

I was at a loss for words, I felt a lump in my throat as I tried to speak but I couldn't get them to find their way out of my mouth. I just looked at him like a deer in headlights, my lips slightly parted.

"What are you here for?" he asked.

Right then the nausea came back and I couldn't stop it this time, I ran off the porch and ducked into some bushes and dry heaved until the little bit of water I drank came up. I mentally kicked myself for not having better control of my stomach. I wiped my mouth and eyes, and walked back towards him.

"Uh, I am here because someone called the precinct today and said if you didn't talk to him when he called back, he was going to kill again. Just like he did thirteen years ago," I told him, finally finding my voice but not bothering to hide my anger and distain of standing here talking to him.

"Liv, what the fuck? This is exactly why I left SVU," he said.

I let out a sigh of relief, he didn't leave because of me. Then my anger was right back, raging and ready to fight with him. Personal feelings to the fucking side, Benson. I tell myself and take a deep breath, calming my anger.

"I'm sorry to drag you into this, El, but I need your help." I said dryly.

"What is wrong with you? Why are you acting this way?" He asked, as if he were clueless, like him leaving shouldn't have effected me.

"I'm trying to put my personal feelings to the fucking side to save these girls, can we please do that?" I ask, talking slowly to not raise my voice.

"You need to tell me what your problem is before we can try to work together and save these girls, you know we aren't going to solve anything by going at each others throats," Elliot said, looking into my eyes, his voice softening.

"You! Elliot! You are my problem! I don't want to be here, I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you, none of this. After you left, I was ready to live my life without ever seeing you again," I said, seeing my words sting him.

"You do not mean that! Olivia, I left because we were too close, my marriage was dying and you were no longer growing with me. You didn't need me! We needed space, I did what was best."

"I didn't need you? Fuck you, Elliot! You did what was best for you!" I screamed at him. "Did you even care how it would effect me? You didn't even fucking tell me goodbye!"

"Because I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to go, I wouldn't be able to leave you. I needed a clean break, Liv" he tells me and he looks like he might cry.

"When Cragen told me, I locked myself in an empty interrogation room and I lost it. Elliot, I fucking lost it. I cried and I never thought I was going to be able to stop, but you know what, five minutes later I pulled myself together and I went back out there and did my job!" I felt my eye fill up with tears and I knew I couldn't hold it in much longer.

"I didn't mean to do that, Liv. You have to know that," he whispered and he inched closer to me. He reached up to wipe a tear off my cheek and I hit his hand away, not wanting to be near him.

"No, Elliot Stabler, after all this time you do not have the right to touch me now when you didn't all those years ago," I yelled, not bothering to try and stop my tears from falling anymore.

Once again his face flickered with pain but he quickly swiped that expression off his face. I needed to get away from him, I couldn't deal with this, it was a horrible idea coming here.

"I have to go..." I said.

"Let me go get dressed and I'll go with you," he pleaded with me and I didn't have the energy to fight.

I didn't tell him no and I didn't argue, I just turned away from him. I walked out the front door, and back to my squad car. I got inside and laid my head on the steering wheel.

Minutes later, I heard the door open and Elliot was in and buckled before I started the car.

We drove back to the city in silence, he looked out the window and I stared straight ahead as a few lonely tears dripped down my face and fell onto my lap.

I hope y'all like it! Vote and comment, show a girl some love dammit! lol

Dr.MH