Reunited: A Bensler/SVU fanfic

Chapter 5

 *Elliots POV*

Fuck! I thought, as my fists balled up and my knuckles turned white as Olivia took my hands off her and walked out of the room. I never do anything right, I should have taken a chance to tell her how I felt all those years ago, no matter the consequences. I shouldn't have let fear get in the way of my happiness, God knows how unhappy I am.

I haven't been with a woman since the day I quit my job all those years ago. I just couldn't bring myself to be with anyone other than Olivia. I would park outside of her apartment almost every night to see if she would bring anyone home and some nights I would go inside her building and wait outside her door, hoping I would have the courage to knock on it or she would sense my presence and open it. Of course that never happened, and she never knew how I really felt about her. Then she moved on.

She would bring home men and let them in and I wished they were me, I even scared a few of them off. But she was better off without me so eventually I stopped parking on her street and tried to force her voice out of my head. It never really worked, and I constantly dreamt of her but someone as amazing as her wasn't going to wait around for me, and I couldn't blame her. I broke her heart one too many times. I only had myself to blame for wanting her to learn to live without me.

I walked over to the bunks and slammed my fist into the mattress over and over as I felt a familiar sting of tears in my eyes for the second time today. Just as I began to sob, Fin walked in.

"Elliot, stop, whats the matter?" he asked, putting his arms around me to stop me from hitting the already in bad shape mattress.

"I blew it, again. I'm always going to blow it. I'm never going to get it right. She doesn't want me and she's all I can think about," I confessed, my cheeks burned as the cool air of the precinct hit them.

"Bro, I'm sorry but when you left she was literally a wreck, you took a part of her with you and maybe she can get that back now that you're here again. But you're going to have to help put her back together. A lot has happened, more than she is letting on. She loved you, hell, she might still love you but you ruined her, and then she got ruined some more," Fin said crossing his arms over his chest, not looking Elliot in the eyes.

"Fuck, Fin, you mean she got—?" Elliot asked, his voice going shaky, scared for Fin's response.

"No, but close, some bastard held her hostage for three days and then kidnapped her later when he escaped from prison tortured her both times," Fin answered. Elliot let out a sigh of relief due to the fact she hadn't been raped.

"What do I do?"

"You fight like hell, then you don't let her down. But it might not work, Elliot, she's not the same Olivia you left seven years ago," Fin tells me, "but for what its worth, I always wanted you two together."

I can't bring myself to say anything and the tears continue to drip down my face so I wrap Fin in a hug and don't let go for a few seconds while I collect myself.

"Let's go solve this case and catch this lowlife fuck," I tell him and we walk out of the cribs to find Rollins and Liv talking to a man that I thought I'd never see again.

"Elliot!!" said the man as he wraps his arms around me.

"I am getting lots of hugs today," I say, "how are you?" I ask as we all sit down, I notice how he placed his hand on Olivia's thigh and my vision goes red with anger.

Sorry its so short guys, but I'll update the next part soon!

Dr.MH