Lost for You

Chapter 20

"Oh god don't cry" Olivia sneers at me just as a single tear leaves my watering eyes and rolls down my left cheek.

I had been trying to hold the tears that threatened my eyes but after she stepped out from behind him in only her bra and undies I let it slip.

Harry cautiously takes a step forward, reaching out his hand to me with an apologetic look on his face and I take a step back. Why would he want to comfort me? Every single moment that we ever shared has been a lie. Every touch, every kiss, every word spoken. It was all fake. He's a fake and I'm angry at myself for not seeing it before. Those days he went missing he was probably with her or maybe he has been with her the entire time! I don't understand. Did he hold such a strong grudge towards me that he would go through all that trouble to hurt me like this. To embarrass me in the best way he knew how. Well he won. He got me alright. I thought he was still the same but I was clearly wrong. The boy who I thought to be the most kind, loving, gentle person no longer stands before me. In his place stands a hurtful, dark, emotionless man who doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself. He was my best friend and he hurt me. The one boy who I thought I could trust with my life just broke it into a million pieces.

"Don't" I warn taking another step back.

"Jamie I -" Harry begins to say while taking another step closer but Olivia silences him.

"Oh Harry don't make it any harder on the poor girl. You can see she's clearly upset and confused"

"No I got it" I barely manage to say, letting a small whimper out at the end. The way Olivia is coiling herself around Harry gives me a nice clear message. He is hers and was never mine.

I manage to turn away just in time for the tears to come flooding down my face.

"Fucking hell Styles. What have you done now." I hear some boy say whom I think is Louis but I don't turn around to check. Instead I pick up the pace as I walk to the car, barely able to see through my blurry tear filled eyes.

I can't believe what I just witnessed. It feels like my insides are caving in on themselves. I turn my brothers car on as soon as Im in the drivers seat and reverse down the drive but slam on my breaks after getting a fright from someone banging on my window.
It's Louis. He opens the door and gives me a sympathetic smile.

" I don't think you're in any state to drive love. Ill take you home" he insists and just as I'm about to protest, more tears fall from my eyes. I never thought I could cry this much, not since the day I cried for him. Anger begins to boil inside me as I realise its always been about Harry when I've felt this hurt inside. Louis unbuckles my seat belt for me and leads me around to the passengers side of the car.

"Thanks" I whimper as he closes the door. He runs back around to the drivers side of the car and hops in slamming the door shut a little too loudly.

"Prick" I hear him mutter under his breath as he continues to reverse down the drive way then onto the road.

"Where do you live?" He asks as looking at me momentarily, his soft eyes resting on mine.

"Ellersly" I say quietly trying to calm myself and he makes a turn down the next street.

"I don't understand what's going through Harry's head at the moment Jamie but you sure as hell don't deserve that shit" he frowns.

"Thanks but I'm pretty sure I understand him now" I say wiping my wet cheeks with my sleeve.

"I know you think you do but I meant what I said the other day. Harry really had changed since you'd been around. He was a lot more calm, more-"

"Can we not talk about Harry please" I try to say politely.

"Oh yeah sorry" he says indicating down my road.

"I'm up here on the left" I say pointing to my house.

"Woah nice place" he says turning into my drive now.

"Thanks. It's my brothers".

He pulls right up to my front door, turning off the car in the exact moment my brother walks out of the house. I quickly wipe my tears away but it's too late, Ty saw me. Damn. I slowly get out of the car as does Louis.

"Hi" I smile though I can tell it failed as concern spreads across my brothers face.

"What happened?" He says pulling me into a hug, making the tears fall once again.

"Harry happened" Louis answers my brothers question.

"Did he hurt you?" Ty asks gently but I can hear the anger behind his tone.

'No!" I quickly say. He would never hurt me. Not physically at least...

"Tell me what happened" he says leading me inside now. He's completely worried about me that he forgets about Louis.

"Louis you can come in" I say turning to him as he stands awkwardly by the car.

"Er... No it's OK. Ill just wait for Niall. He should be on his way" he answers and I can tell he feels uncomfortable.

" I was just about to watch a pre season game if you want to come in and watch while you wait" Ty offers and Louis eyes light up almost instantly.

"Well then why didn't you just say so mate!" He grins and follows us into the house.

"I'm going to go have a shower" I announce, leaving them in the lounge before my brother starts hounding me with questions that I really don't want to answer.

The shower is cool against my heated skin. I let it run over me for what feels like forever. I want to it to wash away every touch Harry placed on my body that I once thought was meaningful. I want it to remove every feeling I once had for him. The way I cared, the way I needed and the way I yearned for him is all slowly washing down the drain along with the heart that once belong to him. My fathers words play wisely through my mind...

'No deserving man will let you slip through his fingers Jamie . If he does, than he is lost and you are not to go find him. You will deserve better and you will find better but before you do, you make damn sure you show him what he's missing out on. As well as come find me so I can kick his ass'

I smile at first while remembering my dads protective tone but my smile soon fades as I realise he is no longer here to do just that. I was so confused when my dad told me these things countless times while growing up. Though I do understand its meaning now. He doesn't want me to cry over someone who isn't worthy of my love and I certainly don't intend too....