Author's Note: Mature themes and strong language are ahead. – KL
==
February 1988
TATIANA
Hours after curtain call, Michael insisted on throwing a party to celebrate his first concert of the American leg in Kansas. As expected, we all of crammed out in the hallway in this living space of his suite, clearly aware that a nightclub party or something, especially at the last minute, would be out of the question. Fan chaos surrounded him on a regular basis if things weren't planned out delicately in advance.
Michael had reserved the whole top floor in the name of privacy, but I now watched Greg and Sheryl flirt over Coronas, obviously buzzed and enamored. They both stood in the doorway with little space between them. Sheryl had yanked Greg's sunglasses and he draped a weary arm around her shoulder, pulling her in even closer than before.
I somehow made my way past these two and faked a nervous smile, but halted once noticing Michael. Behind Rayban sunglasses, he sat on the couch holding this liquor filled glass and nodded to a song I couldn't recognize. He seemed to have been mumbling the lyrics after I inched closer toward him.
How do I know?
That you won't go.
Please tell me.
(I don't wanna lose your love.)
And if that's true.
I'll stay with you.
(That will make me so happy...)
Before I could make another move in his direction, Michael pushed up his glasses and flashed that trademark smile. I blushed right back, taking a swig of my own Heineken. He lifted his near empty but clear glass and rose from the couch, allowing his footsteps to slow my way. I chewed my bottom lip, both intrigued and confused by his actions now.
Just last month, he'd given warnings in the name of his relationship and pushed me away through words. I still couldn't understand Brenda's appeal. Something clearly peeved Michael early this morning in the break-room considering that he wouldn't really address anyone in a friendly manner and mostly kept to himself. I miserably watched him sit at the back of that room and scribble away on Stationery paper, definitely hiding tears behind the same Raybans he wore at this moment.
"Why are you just standing around?" I heard a voice question me softly. I looked over to find Michael standing right beside me and almost jumped with the drink still in my hand. The kitchenette table had been clustered with buckets of iced down alcohol. This had been my second beer that evening.
"May I sit down next to you or are we banned from speaking yet again, Michael?" I hiccupped for a moment, losing sense of determination.
"Park it." he laughed, touching a cushion beside him. Most of the dancers, crew members and background singers mingled or danced throughout the night, right in front of Michael's view. I chuckle time and time again whenever some suggested that Michael danced, as if we all hadn't seen him light up the stage constantly.
"How's your girl?" I probed unconsciously, taking another swig and clenching my teeth from the taste. Michael cut his eyes at me within seconds.
"I thought you didn't even care about her? What's that about?"
"It's a simple question." I watched him bring a glass to his lips. I hadn't even realized that he'd gotten another drink, but his eyes couldn't stop observing me now. Nervous, another swig already came to my mouth.
Michael huffed and brought the glass down a little. "She's fine. Thank you." Music switched, but continued rumbling in this crammed space.
We sat almost hip to hip on the couch without even realizing such a thing and somehow both set the we chose to our lips. I looked over to find already staring me down. His lips pursed. My breathing nearly hitched as I clutched the Heineken. Droplets from the bottle wet the palm of my hand.
"Michael?" I whispered, longing to be closer for some reason.
"Yeah?" he questioned, holding the glass even tighter than before while still scoping me up and down. No one else here even cared about or noticed the growing heat between us.
"Does she still make you happy?" I asked nervously and suddenly touched his free arm. My hand even started rubbing it. A lump immediately formed in my throat out of honest concern for him. "What's going on?"
"It's none of your business." he rose from the couch and walked over the crowded kitchenette to set down his second empty glass. Once he turned around to face me again, my heart almost stopped its tracks. Never had seen his eyes so fixated before, even on camera in magazines.
__
Like magic, everyone disappeared around 3 AM. at least tried to help clean when I felt someone's presence right behind me at the kitchenette. I looked back to find Michael standing right behind me. I couldn't help gripping the edge of that table as he arms wrapped around my waist. I turned my head ever so slightly and before long, my hand caressed his face as we kissed, frozen in this compromised positon. Given the company of alcohol in my own system, hesitation became a stranger I didn't even want to acknowledge.
He was mine and mine alone.
For once.
__
I'd personally slammed down and crushed a framed picture of Michael and Brenda on the nightstand. Michael didn't even flinch or say anything about it before practically ripping off my clothes. We both trembled kissing on his bed when everything turned up several notches.
I couldn't help chewing my bottom lip over and over again before rolling my eyes to the ceiling in bliss. My body shook in his embraced and I leaned down to kiss his neck, tasting the salt of his body. I'd always wondered how he'd feel after performing on stage for thousands.
Now I finally knew.
I chuckled at the sensation of his hand on my ass and stared him down this time. At last, we'd both reached the edge and I screamed his name as if I'd never see him again.
"Michael!"
He'd gushed inside of me so hard, I trembled once more. I looked down at him to see his sweet face completely red and exhausted. The hair-tie I'd seen time and time again had popped right off of his curls, forcing them to spring out and nearly reach his shoulder in a messy way.
God, he was beautiful.
When I leaned in for his lips, he actually stopped my movement. Our eyes locked and I just knew things had shifted right into a serious mode. Our foreheads bumped as Michael caressed my cheek in the darkness.
"Tell no one." he whispered and carefully pulled out, forcing me to tremble again just for a moment. I actually felt neglected in one way or another, but he soon held me from behind and we both fallen asleep, accomplished.
Not once did I look back at the shattered picture frame on his nightstand. Brenda Michelle Hughes meant nothing to me.
