April 1989
Following the "Liberian Girl" shoot. – 7PM.
Once Brenda walked through the double doors, my heart almost stopped. I rose from that small but decorated table and opened my arms, honestly fighting tears in my eyes. There'd been only us in the room tonight. I'd planned it out this way and bodyguards kept watch alongside Bill outside the double doors among other locations just in case.
In this room, Brenda hugged me right back, flashing the most truthful smile I'd noticed from her in a while. A waitress entered before long and we both ordered drinks, hoping to ease for this.
At the table. we unfortunately sat across from one another. Brenda had occupied herself with the menu when I spoke up. I barely fought the urge to smooth her knuckle like old times. Sade played softly from a modest stereo in the corner.
I'm yours.
You're mine.
Like paradise...
"You look beautiful." I chewed my bottom lip but smiled to hopefully curb myself. Underneath the table, those legs still teased me while Brenda sat down in a lavender sundress, enhancing both the room and my heart more than anything.
"Thank you. You clean up well, too." she finally looked from the menu and offered a sweet smile. Her change in mood hadn't thrown me off in the least bit since we both adults. Hopefully, things between us would only improve from now on.
While the music switched and continued playing, my heart started to race bit by bit. I knew Brenda questioned why I even put this all together in the first place. Things didn't even end well after the American Music Awards not too long ago.
"Why bring me out here?" Brenda soon leaned back carefully in her chair as if reading my mind. Gone was that pretty smile. I could only chew my bottom lip prior to answering her otherwise reasonable question.
"Okay. There are two reasons – Reason Number One: I wanted to see you again. Reason Number Two: I hope you consider tonight to be a baby step from me. I'm trying to prove that you mean so much more than a stupid choice I made one night."
She couldn't answer me at fist and sipped from her water glass. I hadn't seen wine grace the table yet, but guessed it was fine. Alcohol wouldn't cloud judgment so early in this planned non-date between the two of us.
__
Before long, dinner had arrived, but the awkwardness wouldn't leave. We kept up small talk every once in a while, but she couldn't ease back into the girl I met six years ago. It wasn't like I didn't understand why, either. Her eyes turned dead once more, and I couldn't help reached out to hold her hands, if only for a moment.
As always, my thumb smoothed her knuckles while both of us plates remained empty but frozen on the table. Even calling for the check had been out of the question for me right now. The sooner it came, the sooner this would end. Soft music continued playing again behind me.
"Tell me what's wrong." I kissed the hand that locked with my own. If she noticed, Brenda wouldn't stop our physical contact this time. "This is why I'm here right now. We can talk and fix things. Whatever you want, I'll do it. I love you."
She looked at me.
I looked at her, but never smiled.
"I've missed you, but I've been too proud all this time. It's just that...." Brenda hesitated and started to look away from me, but I lifted her chin moments later.
