Author's Note: The beginning is actually a short extension of chapter 52. Also, please listen to the inserted music later. This 2015 song actually screams 1980's in my opinion. Overall feedback is appreciated. Thanks. - KL
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1987
MICHAEL
"What's wrong?" I asked once Brenda closed the bedroom door behind us.
Since our limousine ride back to the condo, she wouldn't hold my hand out watched streetlights pass outside. Only the movement of an engine cut the silence between us. Every time I reached out, she just slapped away my hands before turning back to those fucking streetlights.
Did I say something wrong tonight? Brenda had been supportive throughout dinner. My mind raced with questions over and over again. I didn't know what to think right now. Brenda hardly said anything to me while getting ready for bed. Triggering an argument had been out of the question, but silent treatment could go so far with me after all this time.
"Good night, baby." she just turned off the lamp and shielded herself in the blankets without another word to me. Fed up, I tuned on the lamp on my nightstand. She grumbled and hid under the blankets even more, but I didn't even care.
"What's wrong?" I repeated for the millionth time that evening. "You've been frustrated ever since we've left the restaurant." My back softly hit a mountain of pillows behind me. We soon made eye contact once Brenda came to her senses and looked my way
"She's your first love. No matter how much you love me, I'm scared." Brenda whispered.
My eyes narrowed. "What are you afraid of? I explained to her that I've moved on. You saw it, girl."
I know, but..." she hesitated and lowered those brown eyes. "You said it's taken years for you to really move on. I mean think about it. When we first saw her tonight, you almost fainted. I would've done the same thing. No one forgets their first love."
"Baby..." I'd never felt so ashamed and didn't even noticed how Brenda looked at the situation. I continued speaking, scooting closer in our bed. "I'll always remember her, but what we have means so much because my feelings actually matter to you. Like I said, if she really cared, I wouldn't have to look somewhere else for love. I'd never give myself the chance to fall in love with you.'
My voice cracked just before we kissed. Her breathing hitched against my mouth in the darkness.
"I love you." she trembled speaking to me now. "Please don't leave me." The tables had turned within seconds. I kissed even more passionately than the first time, caressing her face with my hand.
"Never." I promised with another kiss, sinking us both into the bed.
**
BRENDA
"What do you mean the press conference flopped? All that press showed up people still don't believe me. I hired you for a reason, Reggie. Don't make me fire your ass after all this time. I'm in a crisis." I paced back and forth in Michael's bedroom the next morning with this stupid phone receiver burning hot against my ear.
Tears of frustration already spilled from my eyes. My agent Reggie had been straining for clearance of my name to no avail. It didn't help that Michael attempted to barge in, despite the reality of his own career and media uproar. Reggie tried and failed to convince me of hopefulness on the other line. His own slight New Jersey accent dripped into my hearing.
"All you can do is work on that album and hope for the best. Kelly says we should try going overseas for promotion, but you're not even finished, Brenda. It's bad enough that even your music videos suffered on television here." I sighed out loud listening to him and pushed back my curls in frustration.
"Well, figure out something because I can't work on this album for the rest of my life, Reggie." I hugged once more.
I looked over to find Michael mouthing I Love You while standing beside me. I nodded in silence, but closed my eyes, fed up. Reggie had continued speaking, but I didn't even care. I could only tune him out at the moment before finally hanging up.
Yet, I found myself dodging him at the moment and could only blow a kiss. At the door, he trapped me so close in an embrace, our noses touched. My tears almost streamed against his caring face as he caressed my cheek. I softly kissed him before pulling away, just sniffling.
__
I nodded to yet another rhythm. my eyes shut. Even for a day, I could ignore the pulsating headache that was the crumble of my dream. I wasn't even the one at fault after all these years and my mind drew constantly drew blanks on how to even start repair. Members of my team all made good points, but for now I only took in these buzzing chords.
I'd sat down at the mixing board next to Craig and others, scribbling. My voice mumbled over those same loud chords when I tapped right now and hurried to the booth with paper in my hand. Craig and the others turned their heads, smiling at me through the glass of my favorite place. I flashed eager thumbs with a smile. Craig prepped accordingly before the music reached headphones bigger than my curly hair.
[Opening lyrics]
You're a holiday.
A glass of ocean slipping down my throat.
And landed on my hopes, I'm dreaming.
Off the maps no hidden grids, I'm fleeing
I worship you like holy days.
Lying on my back, seeing clouds and rays.
Drinking lime and bitter from my lemonade.
White horses, merry time won't do.
As soon as the song faded, everyone cheered. I'd never felt so relieved in my life and took off my glasses to wipe away joyful tears. Most times I knew things were good, but days like this one struck something I hadn't even realized: strength.
Talent ran a long way, but no one could appreciate my work if I remained voiceless.
