March 3rd, 1988
TATIANA
He actually proposed to Brenda earlier this morning. I couldn't believe it. I hoped that she at least knew the truth, no matter how much I actually despised her. I couldn't even spend five minutes alone with Michael to express my genuine feelings.
He'd been so blind and "devoted." I'd always remember the countless times where they both shut me out, influenced by "love." I'd seen only heartache and drama between them time and time again. Cold spell or not, it all had been disgusting to be honest.
I knew for sure Michael and Brenda had sex last night. Otherwise, he wouldn't greet me on the phone in a such a flustered way at two in the morning. Others had explained to me that Michael would actually sound chipper depending on his mood at the hour. I'd learned of his much darker side obviously the night before.
After he hung up so rudely last night, I actually considered barging in on those two without stopping. I didn't even care about crossing lines anymore. If I'd been fired in the name of my emotions, so be it. Michael would spend the rest of his life pining over a woman who didn't even care.
Yet, I chose against such a thing. This lifetime opportunity would never come again. Walking on eggshells with Michael had been difficult enough.
Joyful clamor erupted before sound check even began. Usually, the crew members, background singers and other dancers would acknowledge Michael in calm way, but this had been quite a different morning for obvious reasons.
I faked the best smile once Greg patted Michael's shoulder while grinning. My eyes bucked once Michael actually removed the microphone from its stand. The energetic applause halted after a minute or so. He laughed bashfully into the microphone before greeting everyone as expected.
I fought every urge to wave back as Michael grinned from cheek to cheek before truly collecting his thoughts. Whooping echoed again, but only for a moment. Voice hushed obviously respectfully throughout the room and I held my breath as the "news" been spilled to everyone.
"Scout's Honor you won't tell the press?"
A definite Yes echoed from all in the room including me. As much as I'd been conflicted concerning his relationship, there was never a time and place to air someone's personal life. Unauthorized reveal of his relationship among other things would lead to an automatic discharge from the tour.
In light of my worrying thoughts, Michael cleared his throat and finally perked up with confirmation of the big news. Only his words could send everyone here into minutes of noisy exhilaration. I looked to find Sheryl Crow, one of the background singers, holding her mouth with both hands in anticipation. If didn't know any better, tears stained her young eyes already.
"I'm getting married." Michael could only walk away from the microphone. As I expected, everyone screamed as loud as possible before things really kicked off here. Sheryl's face had turned completely red. My eyes narrowed watching her squeak words to me, It turned that she'd been using broken but happy vocals to express her feelings.
You know how I feel.
I won't stop until.
I hear your voice saying I do.
As long as Michael turned blind to everything, I'd never have a chance. Anger couldn't die within me no matter how hard I tried to ignore these feelings.
__
They posed back to back for Michael's personal photographer. Brenda flashed the engagement right while actually I hid in a corner of the wings waiting. It'd be quite some time before my cue, but there was no shame in enjoying Michael's concert yet again, all while mingling with others in the process.
