don't be a fool [s.m]

chapter 5

shawn

i looked at her softly, my features relaxed. she smiled lightly, filling my heart with this burning sensation that i've never felt before.

the nurse had finished asking questions, and now we were sitting in silence.

as we sat, i felt myself getting lost in her eyes. i started thinking about everything thats happened this past week, and how badly it's effecting us.

what if she's right? what if beth isn't for me? but what if amanda is?

no, i can't think like this. i love beth.

don't i?

"shawn," her voice felt sweet to my ears.

"i'm gonna do it," i say and she looks at me with incertitude. i wasn't aware of the words coming out of my mouth, but i didn't care; it's not like i wasn't thinking of saying them.

"i'm gonna dump b-" i try to tell her, but she cuts me off.

"shawn," she looks away, closing her eyes and furrowing her brows into one.

"what? i don't want to be with her anymore," i tell her, trying to keep my voice soft.

"you told me you loved her," she speaks, her head facing me again. she opens her eyes and i notice how they're watering.

"i d-don't." i shake my head. "i don't even know what loving someone feels like."

"you never do until you leave them, and can't stand to be away from them," she says, adjusting her sitting position.

i thought about the words that came out of her mouth.

i couldn't stand being away from her.

(a/n her = amanda)

-

as i rolled amanda back out to my car, i couldn't help but look at her baby blue cast.

"amanda, how did you break it? your foot?" i ask her and head to section a, seeing my jeep in the distance.

"i tripped," she replied, her words shaking a bit.

"don't lie to me," i groaned.

"i just tripped, shawn. it's not that big of a deal," she explains and we reach my black four-door. i let go of the handle bars, walking in front of the chair and opening my car door. i walk back to her, wrapping my arms around her fragile body, holding onto her tightly. i felt her arms squeeze me as i lifted her into the air, quickly setting her down again, but in the passenger seat.

i push the wheelchair out of the way, taking large steps to the driver's side. i hop in and buckle up, taking a deep breath as we pulled out.

"finally," she said, looking out of the window. i smiled, watching her roll
it down to get some wind.

i couldn't help but grin at how beautiful she looked. though she was in pajamas and had messy hair with no makeup on, she looked stunning.

"why are you looking at me like that?" she lets out a small laugh, "focus on the road."

i rolled my eyes, but forced my eyes to watch the road.

-

"amanda, i should stay," i tell her, watching struggle with getting out of the car and walking on her new crutches.

"it's okay, i'll be fine," she tells me, waving me off. i watch her stumble, almost falling to the ground. i shut my door and rush over to her, moving my hand to her waist so she could get her balance back.

"i'm staying," i finalize, picking her up and carrying her into her house.

"thank you," she says as i set her down on the sofa.

"you're welcome," i say softly, planting a hesitant kiss on her forehead. her eyes flutter closed under my touch, and my lips move to her's, kissing her gently but passionately. i breathe as my large frame moves off of her's and into the kitchen.

i swallow the lump in my throat, overthinking what i just did.

"hey, manda. i'm just gonna make some chicken noodle soup. alright?"

amanda

"y-yeah," i called back, the initial shock of his lips on mine having trouble fading away.

my hand instinctively touched my lips, trying to grasp the fact that he kissed me.

i smiled a bit, he kissed me.

but he didn't mean it, amanda. you know that. my conscious pulled me out of the wrong thoughts.

he didn't mean anything by that kiss, it was just in the moment. right?

i sighed, not really knowing what to do. i reached for the remote, turning the tv on. the first thing that popped up was teen beach movie, so i decided to watch that.

-

"here you go, miss yates." shawn hands me a bowl of soup.

"it really took you that long to make a can of soup?" i asked him and he raised an eyebrow.

"that ain't no canned soup," he laughs, sitting by my feet, pushing them up and then laying them on top of his lap.

"y-you made this from scratch?" i asked him softly, looking down at the delicious-smelling food.

"sure did," he smiles, turning back to the tv.

"thank you, shawn," i say and offer him a small smile. i take a bite of the soup, moaning in complete heaven.

"this is amazing," i compliment, taking another bite, "i think i should start calling you chef mendes."

he laughs, "i think shawn is just fine."

-

after i finished my fine meal, shawn and i sat in silence, getting lost in the childhood film. the whole time, shawn had his hand gently wrapped around my ankle, holding onto me softly, but securely.

i loved having him back.

-

a/n OKAY IN MY OPINION THIS WAS BETTER BUT STILL A LITTLE IFFY BUT I HAVE A TERRIBLE COLD OK TTYL BYE.

xx, char