don't be a fool [s.m]

chapter 26

amanda

i pull into tim's, the small coffee shop looking quiet, and empty. i unbuckled myself, wiggling out of my small car. i walk to the front of the shop, patiently waiting for ezra to catch up.

you could tell by looking at her, she was a beautiful person. i mean, she still is, but you could just tell how pretty she was back then.

she reaches me about a minute and a half later, and we walk in. i'm greeted by the aroma of donuts and some vanilla scent i couldn't exactly identify.

shawn always smelled like vanilla.

"is something wrong sweetheart?" ezra catches me dazing off into space.

"oh, sorry, no. e-everything's fine," i say, my voice still a little shaky from what had previously happened.

"e-ezra," i whisper before we order, "this is going to sound stupid but, can you order for me? i get so nervous and i-"

"say no more, darling. i got you," she says and i smile, squeezing her gently. i turn on my heels, finding my usual seat in the corner, the one with the clearest window. this one was never foggy.

i tap my fingers softly on the table, looking out of the window. the sky was a pastel, the sun a beam of light burning through the abyss of blue.

"here, sweety," ezra's voice squeaks as she places a glazed donut and cup of tea in front of me. my favorite.

"how'd you know?" i ask her and she shrugs, her usual smile dancing on her lips.

"that's for me to know and you to find out," she says, sitting down in front of me. 

"now, tell me, this shawn boy," she mentions and i sigh.

"well," i begin, "it all started about eight years ago. he was the one with no gold star stickers, a very intimidating child to most. nobody wanted to be friends with him, it seemed. however, i wasn't your average kid, either. i was intrigued by his differences, i wanted to befriend him. he was interesting. turns out, he wasn't scary at all. though he didn't look like it, he had a heart, feelings. people didn't think so, so they would try to tear him down. but i guess he had me, and so we stuck together from there on. i guess things are changing now," i sigh, my eyes drawing back to hers.

"and who's the girl he was with?"

"that's bethany. in eighth grade, shawn met beth. she was a sweet brunette, very attractive. shawn was in love with her. and i was happy for him, beth didn't seem all that bad. that's until shawn introduced us. i guess shawn told her about how close we were and she didn't like that. she's hated me ever since," i explain and ezra shakes her head.

"amanda, dear, you are so strong for putting up with this. and from what i'm hearing, the tone you're speaking in, i can tell you love that boy. but, if he leaves you for this girl that is bad for your relationship with shawn, i think you should take a break. get away from things," she says, "and i know that's probably not what you want to hear, you probably want to hug him and forget everything. but, honey, he needs to learn. you're not at fault here. i mean, yes, accusing him of loving you for sex wasn't a good thing to say, but now he's turned the tables. he went back to the girl you both know isn't worth losing anything for. and that's his decision, but, and i don't mean to act like a mother, but i wouldn't walk that road with him," she tells me. i let her words sink, everything falling into its position. she was right, shawn and i do need a break.

"and he'll realize bethany isn't the one. just like last time, he'll come back to you," she says and i nod, she's right.

"thank you, ezra. you're such a wise woman," i flash a her smile, which she gladly returns.

-

ezra went on her way that night, but promised to keep in touch. she had given me her number, and told me to text her anytime. and that she knew how to text back, that her grandkids had been teaching her.

i laughed, nodding as she stepped out of my car.

"good luck with everything darling, thank you for sprucing me up with that good tea of yours," she smiles, shutting the door. i wait until she gets inside, just incase she falls or something of the sort.

"good riddance, ezra," i whisper, pulling out. times like those, where you find a complete stranger who's old and wise, and they give you amazing advice. those are times to truly listen to what they have to say, for they have lived a life twenty times tougher than yours. and that may not be true for all, but it was true for me. after she gave me advice about shawn, she told me how she lost her husband in war, and lost her only daughter to suicide. how she had to mother the three children that were born before anisha, her daughter, had taken her life. i thought about how hard that must've been. certainly, way harder than broken chemistry between a boy like shawn and a girl like me.

i smiled, the good times ezra and i shared all in the short span of less than twenty-four hours.

i felt a spot in my heart warm up, her advice still sinking in.

i grab my phone, looking through all of the notifications i missed while i wasn't screaming at shawn or talking to ezra.

a specific text caught my attention.

shawn
i'm coming over

he sent that fifty-five seconds ago, he'll be here any second.

ding

"fuck," i curse, sucking in a deep breath before making my way over to the front door.

-

a/n im so tired tbh

xx, char