Change Ahead

Chapter 9

"Father..." I said shockingly.

It was really my father. I took his hand from my body and moved aside a little. I was so full of guilt. I was afraid. I did not want my parents to know about me at all. It had been a long time. I used to think about them at times. But this has become my life now. I was afraid what was going to happen to us, to him.

Memories came flushing in my head. My dad has once said that he would kill me and my boyfriend if I was in love. I feared for him more than me. I prayed to God nothing bad should happen to him.

"Gazella.... My dear... What have you done?" it was my mom. 'Mom... You are not supposed to see this. We are not supposed to meet. She was breaking me down. My hard built fort.. She came running to me and hugged me. I had the same feel when I hugged Varun for the first time. They both looked alike to me. She kissed me all over and hugged me; patted on my back.

"Nothing dear. You are alright now. I found you baby. I found you. I can never lose you." She was contented to see me. I was so precious to her. I was her first child. I felt like I was back in her womb. Her warm hand, her soul, every part of her was so happy to see me.

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I burst out crying and hugged her back.

"Mom." It was years since I called her mom. It was so emotive and sensitive. I felt her warmth to my heart.

My father said in a loud and angry voice, "Now do you realize what had happened to your life; to your beautiful life?"

I stood there head down. But then I told, "Nothing has happened in my life. I may be poor but I'm happy. I don't want you ever in my life again. Get out of my house."

My mom anxiously said, "No Gaz.. don't' talk to you father like that."

I said, "No mom. I am happy. Let me be like this. I don't want money. I can stay like this forever. Please go. " I turned my back to them.

My father got really mad at me. He shouted at me. I closed my ears guessing I will not hear anything. But I heard every single word loud and clear. He made sure that it reached me soundly.

"Come on. Let us go home now," he said. I ran and hid behind Varun.

Varun stood there not knowing what he should do or tell.

"I don't want to come with you. Get lost from my sight." My lips trembled as I said that.

Varun gained some courage and said, "Let her be with me. Please leave her now."

"No." my father showed his hand in such a way that it ordered Varun to shut his mouth. "I will show you who I'm now." He caught hold of my hand and dragged me to the door. I shouted at him, hit his hand and bit his hand hard. He was holding me so tight. I shouted and cried.

"Varun.. Please save me. I don't want to go. Please." I besought him. I begged my father to leave me. He kept dragging me.

Varun held my hands on the other side and tried to pull me into the house.

There was a big scene. Everybody on the street were wondering what was going on here. They all knew I used to be very quiet with all my things. I never talked to my neighbors. I always held in reserve in my community.

I was deliberate to do something. This was my life. I have to design it not him. Then I wobbled off my father's hand and ran into my house. I went into the kitchen took a knife in my hand.

Everybody was shocked by my action.

"Leave me alone or I will cut my hands now." I pointed the knife at my hands.

My mom ran towards me, saying, "No. Don't do it Gaz."

"Don't mom. If you come any closer, I'm going to cut them for sure." I kept the knife on my wrist, deep on my veins. I did not want to take chances. Either I should live here all by myself or die on my first attempt. I was so full of rage on my father for doing this to me. I had been living peacefully. He was the destroyer of my peace, of me.

I shouted, "Get lost. Don't ever come back." Varun tried to console me, but I shut him off.