A dash of inspiration

Chapter 25

Enjoy.
PS. Check out the pic in the media.

I'm sorry for being such a disappointment to so many people. I though I was doing great. With my parents, my friends, the people that are important to me. Obviously that was one of the biggest lies I've ever allowed myself to believe. I look back now and I blanch at my stupidity. I flinch back when I see every single mistake that led to where I am now. I though this was a good year. Now I remember what happened throughout this year and I can't believe how delusional I was. I lied to myself that I was doing well. I lied to myself that I actually accomplished more stuff than I didn't. Truth is I didn't achieve shit. Sure I got a good mark at school. That's where my accomplishments end. I handled everything so badly, I f*cked up so many things.

Now here I am. My parents completely disappointed with the person I am today, as I fail to do things that any normal person should be able to. Do you ever think in the beginning of a day, "This is going to be a good day"? And then as the day passes you just keep seeing all the things you've messed up, done wrong, all the people you've disappointed. That's when you understand how much of a total utter failure you are.
When your parents look at you like they won't trust you or respect you again, when you have to contain your tears while they lecture you because you know it's your own damn fault and you have no right to cry.
That's when you know you've hit rock bottom.

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~Mer