Septiplier - Angel

Sean

Sean POV:

I harshly pulled the blade against my pale skin, the searing pain that it sent up my arm was something that I had started to enjoy. I slowly watched as blood oozed out, how much I loved that beautiful red it showed, shining when at the right angle. I could still see the cuts from yesterday but I couldn't really care, who would anyways. I slowly lifted up my shirt to see that my ribs had become more visible since the last time I checked. I wonder how much longer I had to last in this awful place that I had to call home. After a few minutes of me just letting the blood drip slowly down onto the ground I decide that I should probably do something before my whole bathroom floor becomes a bloody mess. I tried standing up by putting weight onto my arms, I immediately regretted my decisions as the pain became too much and I clumsily fell down. My pants started to get blood-soaked as I had fallen into my own small pool of blood. If you are wondering My name is Sean Mcloughlin, but most people call me Jack or other things that I don't enjoy mentioning. Right now I am in my bathroom trying to do something to hurry up the process of dying. Failing at it miserably as always. I once tried suicide but it is like something wants me to stay alive because every time I just wake back up in the horrid hospital room. After a few minutes of me staring blankly at nothing, I heard that dreadful sound of my alarm, stating that it is time for me to see Vanoss again. I don't pay him but he still wants to give me these useless therapy lessons that don't ever really do anything at all. I manage to stand up and when I look at myself in the mirror all is see is someone I don't recognize. Who am I? Do I really still deserve to be here? Do people really need to waste their time on something as useless as me? Questions that I have asked myself everyday and night. I slowly limp my way over to my closet, barely really having enough energy to keep my head high. When I finally make it there I put a blue hoodie over my shirt with sleeves to long for me so I can cover up my cuts and scars from the world outside. I also change my pants into some black jeans, and socks. I slowly walk my way down the stairs, reaching the end more exhausted than usual. I tiredly put on my shoes and walk out the door, the weather was perfectly matching my mode today. I gently open my car to find out that I had forgotten to get a full tank. Shit. "I guess I'm walking." I mumble to myself and start limping my way thru the streets, it getting harder to keep my eyes open at every step that I take.