you did that right in front of me
i was right fucking there
but you did it anyways?
who the hell are you?
you know i have feeling for him
you know im a fucking bipolar bitch
but you dont give a damn
you never did. nobody does.
im not ok and its not alright
its hard to trust people anymore
you cant trust anyone
theres too much to lose
dont give me that "im sorry" shit
youre not sorry
you fucking loved it
and you know, thats fucking low
youre not a true friend
you never were haha i wasnt smart enough to realize it
and now i cant get out...
him on the other hand, i still miss him
i want him back
but he doesn't give a damn
he let her do that
whILE I WAS RIGHT FUCKING THERE
i wish he did care
i wish he could've for once... just for once thought about someone else other than himself
all my tears came out tonight
but no one cared
so i just let them fall
who will fix me now?
im just pathetic
crying over a guy
crying over a girl
crying over people who dont give a damn
crying, knowing that i'll never be good enough
i tell myself i am
that im good enough
that i am great
that i will find someone else
that i am ok
that i can do this...
thats just not the truth
the truth is i cant do this
im not ok
im not good enough
i wont find anyone else because you know, im unloveable
for a second i thought he did care
but i was wrong, as usual
he never noticed that he was slowly killing me
and the sad thing is,
i still want to stay with him and be friends
but it just hurts
mostly cause we're not alone
i just want to hold on to him and never let go
but sadly i cant
it fell apart right from the start...
it feels like everyone is against me
if so then leave
just fucking leave and dont look back
one of these days i'll move on... perhaps
but right now, it feels like i never will
for now i only know one thing...
love doesn't exist
who will make me fight?
make me stay awake and live
make me realize that life is good
if anything
i want him to be that person
but he wont
he doesnt say shit about his feelings
i just wanna sleep
sleep until until i die
thats why i like sleep
its like a temporary death
where you dont have to worry about a thing
it's amazing
so much pain, not enough people to realize it....
3:00 a.m
August 26th, 2016
