we all have our secrets
he thinks he knows almost everything about me, the truth is
he doesnt
he doesnt know that i've tried to kill myself before
doesnt know that i want to die everyday even though i have an ok life
doesnt know how many times i cry alone
doesnt know what i want to do with my life
doesnt know where my head is
or my mind is
doesnt know how much i miss him
and possibly the biggest one is that, he doesnt know how much i love him
he told me he had a dream where i didnt like him anymore, and that honestly broke my heart
he has trust issues and all that fun stuff but i dont care how many times i have to say it
i love him
i love him even when he makes me cry
when he makes me laugh
makes me angry
makes me happy
makes me feel every damn emotion out there
hell i love him even when i feel like i hate him
hes my everything
i just wish he could understand that
i miss him so much
god damn it, its not ok
i feel so alone sometimes
i need him better
i need him to be happy
i need him to come home, to me
maybe when he comes back, he'll surprise visit me
maybe he'll bring me starbucks lol
and just maybe
i'll be happy again
please come home soon
please
i need you
february 9th, 2017
6:56 p.m
-5 days-
