god, why am i like this?
why cant i just be care free
i just need to let it go
but it hurts so much
i dont know what to do
i dont want her anywhere near him
its not cause i dont trust him
i dont trust her
she only did that to get closer to him
its like a game
just a game im tired of playing
its getting too much
too fucking much
does he really care about my feelings?
god idk what to think anymore
all i can do is just say its ok when its not ok
when inside im just screaming and scared
cause no one really cares anymore
i dont know if he does
i feel like i help, i help and help
or at least try to help
i guess sometimes its not enough
maybe im not enough
how can i stay strong when in the back of my head i realize, he could end his life right now
he could and i'd be alone
i wouldnt know what to do with myself
i just wish he could realize that it will get better and then we could be together for as long as we want
we can have the life we dreamed of
i want that so badly
i just hope we live to see the day that it happens
but for now i guess i just gotta let it go cause he doesnt give a shit and no one else does
guess i just gotta deal with it
if only he could just help me
he does but sometimes i just feel like i help him
i dont know anymore
too many thoughts and not enough words to describe them
i guess i gotta deal with it...
february 4th, 2017
11:30 p.m
